Anonymous asked a question:
I’m 27 years old and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve only dated once but that didn’t go so well. I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed and I’ve asked God for my significant other but honestly sometimes I feel as if God doesn’t hear me. Which then causes my heart turmoil especially when I see other girls getting married and dating all the time. It just makes me feel like there is something wrong with me or I maybe I’m unworthy of someone else. I just really need some peace in this area or my life.
Hey dear sister, I know this is an especially painful season for you right now, but please allow me the grace to share a few thoughts with you.
1) Singleness is not a season of waiting.
I’ve said this before, but: You’re not waiting for a man. A man is not the focal point of anything. Jesus is the focal point of everything.
A Western culture indoctrinated in romanticism would lead us to believe that “singles” are simply biding their time, waiting for some significant other to save us from the throes of loneliness. And I know that the latest pop song or chick flick or young adult novel has awakened some weird feelings in you, and it would even be nice to have someone.
But relationships are hard work, celibacy is hard work, and life is hard work. There’s really no such thing as waiting for a spouse: your life has launched into being, and there’s work to do. If God is your priority, then a man who comes along who can even catch up to you would be dang lucky to have you.
Continue reading “7 Thoughts On Singleness: Is Something Wrong With Me?”
Real healing begins when you scoop out the lies of your distorted thinking and replace them with God’s truth about you. This will hurt. But it’s the only way to real freedom and peace and joy. Everyone will naturally resist this because it feels corny or intrusive, but more than that, it feels undeserved. When we’re so comfortable with the dark, we squint at the possibility of things getting better in the light.
Yet God is so willing to rub the salt of His Word on your wounds so that you can wake up from your own self-loathing. He’s the well of cool water for your bruised tired hands. He’s the only love who could fulfill you enough not to overreact to the pain. God really does want you to know that you are not what has happened to you nor what you’ve done. Jesus came to take your wounds into his own hands and feet, so that you may live. He did this for our final victory in eternity: but he also did this for you today, in this moment, so you may experience a foretaste of that wholeness. And God is going to move at your tempo, never rushing, because He knows that your healing will take a step at a time. But so we must be willing to hold up those truths to our naked hurt, because healing begins with honesty.
— J.S. from What The Church Won’t Talk About
I’m a sucker for long artsy titles and whimsical song names. This is the official Coffee Table of Contents for my book, released forKindle and now in paperback! If you’ve been blessed, please consider writing a review!
Love y’all, dear friends. 🙂