love-inpursuit asked a question:
What if I keep sinning? Am I not really saved? I can’t pinpoint the fear of losing my salvation.
Hey there my friend: So every once in a while, I get this question from fellow Christians and I see two very different motives.
1) I’m really worried that I’m not doing enough to overcome my sinful selfish inclinations, or
2) I want to know how much I can keep sinning without pissing off God.
Since most people are not binary creatures who fit in a one-dimensional box, your motives might be a mix of both. But if you’re more #2 (I want to get away with stuff) than #1 (I want to overcome), then it’ll be very hard for anyone to reach you. It’s like the addict who keeps saying “I can handle a little bit, I know my limits, just once, only one more time.” If you’re already convinced in your mind that you can do what you want, then I can’t help. I can only graciously ask you to gut-check your motives.
But since you even asked me this question, I can see that it bothers you that it doesn’t bother you, and that shows you actually care. This means you’re in the right place, right now, making a step forward.
You see, every spurt and blip of righteousness in your life is a God-given miracle. Our default mode is sin. We’re all naturally selfish in the wild. Left to ourselves, we’d devour each other in Darwinian cycles of the walking dead.
I meet Christians who freak out when they slip up over a melt-down or flip-out or back-slide or relapse, but if you even care that you messed up, that’s a miracle. An act of Christ-like righteousness is like giving birth. It’s amazing, it’s supernatural, and it’s worth celebrating.
I don’t mean to pamper you here. I’m also not talking about “worldly sorrow,” where you’re just sorry you got caught or you’re sorry about the consequences. I mean: there’s a certain kind of grief when you’re not becoming the person that God has made you to be and saved you for, and if even a tiny seed of that grief is pulsing in your heart, you’re growing in the right direction.