Anonymous asked a question:
How do single people embrace their sexuality without falling into sexual sin? I have seen many fall into this sin and regret it. However, I have seen many more try so hard to repress their sexual desires that they see sex or their sexuality as a dirty and evil part of them even when they marry. Is there a median to owning one’s sexuality and desire for sex, but not falling into lustful sin?
Hey there my friend, I believe that sexual desire is extremely difficult to master, and the church’s main solution has been to bash sex to scare you out of it.
The main thing here is that “sexual desire” itself owns too much of the focus in relationships. Everyone’s talking about “sex” before they talk about faith, communication, maturity, finances, children, career, direction, decisions, and mental health. None of these exist in a vacuum; they’re all interdependent.
I’ll even say that that there are many, many issues just as important as sexuality because people are not merely sexual beings. You’ve probably heard it before, but any microscopic view of one issue tends to diminish the entire individuality of a whole person. If we can begin with a holistic view of relationships, then we’ll see that sexuality is only one ingredient to a much larger, fuller understanding of people.
When we constantly come up with methodologies for a singular problem, then such a narrow-minded focus turns the problem into an unbeatable monster. At the same time, if we relax about it too much or ignore the issue, then we’re ill-prepared to handle all the feelings as they come.
While some may disagree, I believe sex has a lower priority in the scale of relationships because when you’re over forty years old, it becomes way less critical in your mind. I want to consider the long-term.
Continue reading “The Dilemma Between Over-Restricting or Over-Relaxing On Sex and Sexuality”