Image from CNN, showing Syrian Kurds behind border fences to cross into Suruc.
prism0prone asked a question:
Why isn’t anything being done about ISIS? We’re all just living our privileged little lives. As the days pass I feel more depressed & farther away from God. I cry to Him about it but I hear nothing & I’m afraid. And every time I see a cheerful Christian post about God keeping us safe, I feel bitterness and anger and I can feel my emotions slowly shutting down and I don’t want that but it just hurts. So. Much.
My friend, honestly, your question very much stirred me and disturbed me and convicted me. It broke my heart.
Because I think I’m part of the problem. I post prayer requests about ISIS or some other atrocity or disaster or tragedy, and I question myself. Am I doing this to show I care? Do I really care? Can I do more? If there are 27 million slaves in the world and 26,000 children who die everyday of preventable causes: how could I even be on this blog? How could I even think about anything else?
It’s so discouraging. To be truthful, it keeps me up at night. I’m not saying that to boast. The one time I really did anything about it a few years ago, I gave away half my salary to fight human trafficking, and even then, I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing enough. I don’t say that to boast, either. We live in a painfully broken world where even a single glance at it could eat us alive.
There’s another layer to this guilt, too. Sometimes I think I use poor people as a prop for my own “savior-narrative.” Or I become a pseudo-Social Justice Warrior about issues I’ve hardly researched, or I try to be a Google-Expert about statistics that I haven’t double-checked. I donate money to various charities every month, but maybe even this is because I look around my apartment and I see wealth, and it disgusts me, and I donate out of a self-loathing heart. I want to boycott a billion different things, or say to everyone, “Your problems are dumb, because kids in Somalia are dying and there’s still genocide in Iraq and 80% of the world lives on less than a dollar per day.”
The more news I read, the more it kills me inside. The more I see mocked up selfies, and cute Christianese slogans on Instagram, or these theological debates that only other theologians care about: the more I get angry, frustrated, hurt. How can we break free from this cycle?