So About Finding “The One”

givinghimglory asked a question:

Do you think it’s possible to know that the person you’re with is the person you’re going to marry? Even if it’s something that wouldn’t take place until maybe a few more years, is it possible for us to know that the person we’re currently with is the person we’re we’re gonna marry? Does God allow us to know that? And if so how would we know? I’m currently battling with trying to understand this better, and if there’s anything biblical that may go in line with this & your thoughts on this also!

Hey my dear friend, I have two thoughts on this that could make it harder for you to decide, but will hopefully also free you up to make a more informed decision.

1) I absolutely do not believe that “God’s Will” is a fixed straight line.

2) I believe that God is more concerned with who you become than what you do.  He cares about both, but God primarily sees your heart before your choices.

Whenever someone asks me, “Is the person I’m dating the one?” — I always wonder if this is born out of panic or desperation or the anxious urge to be not-single.  Because when you suddenly convince yourself that this person must be the only person for me: then what happens if this person turns out to be way different than what you’ve perceived?  What if they suddenly leave you?  What if they use you up and spit you out?  Are we then trapped by “God’s Will” to keep going?

I think the idea of God’s Will is way more flexible than our self-persuasion, and that it’s unwise to enslave ourselves to a singular picture of how things must work out.  I don’t mean to presume your motives at all: but I wouldn’t want you to get imprisoned by this either.  Some of us who fall for this “fixed blueprint” for God’s Will end up punishing themselves because they think they’re now running after Plan B or some lesser version of God’s plans.

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