“3 Quick Tips to Handle the Truth About Yourself”

3 ways handle truth x3church JSPark


Here’s an article I wrote that’s been published on X3Church, called:
“3 Quick Tips to Handle the Truth About Yourself.”

It’s about three ways to handle the hard truth about yourself from a friend’s honest intervention. No one handles “rebuke” very well because accountability is painful and messy: but it’s necessary for growth and progress.

Here’s an excerpt:


When you hear the truth about yourself, the person who tells you the truth isn’t perfect and probably won’t say it perfectly, but that’s no excuse not to consider their words.

The temptation when we hear criticism is to use the Mirror Defense, which is saying, “Well, what about you?”

We want to discredit the source of the truth, so we drag up old history and the other person’s weaknesses for self-preservation. Or we say, “I don’t like your tone” and use their voice against them.

The problem is, two wrongs can never make a right. In other words, someone else’s bad thing doesn’t cancel my bad thing. Even if the other person is a hypocrite, it doesn’t magically erase my own hypocrisy. And no one in the history of accountability has ever used perfect intonation and the perfect wording to tell the hard truth. If you find yourself saying, “If only she had said it like this” or “If only he had not said this” — then chances are that you’re trying to wiggle your way out of truth by a technicality.


Read the full post here.

— J.S.


Question: So About Accountability and Confession

Anonymous asked:
Do you think that it’s necessary that a Christian repent of ALL his sins before his brothers (aka accountability brothers)?

Ah, accountability groups.  The best and worst thing to pop up in modern ministry.  Like youth group and multi-site churches.

If you actually mean “confession” to your brothers — since we should always repent of our sin before God — then that really depends on motives and methods.  If you’re holding back on something, that’s not a good thing, but if you’re revealing everything in a vivid, overly detailed, sensational sort of way, that’s also not a good thing.  Both methods point to some dishonest motives.

Continue reading “Question: So About Accountability and Confession”