Sexual Temptation Vs. Christianity: A Conversation With Yumi About Sex, Singles, Marriage, & Faith


An interview by Yumi about Sexual Temptation Vs. Christianity and the extreme difficulty (and freedom) of the Christian sex ethic, for singles, dating, and married couples.

This is a portion of the interview (plus a little awkward extra at the end). The full 30 minute version is on Yumi’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK9Uo-yhp8Y

Subscribe to Yumi! https://www.youtube.com/user/yumigirlofficial

The post mentioned in this interview by Gothic Christian –
http://gothicchristian.tumblr.com/post/129744315870/you-dont-have-a-right-to-sex

Subscribe to my channel here! https://www.youtube.com/user/jsparkblog

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The Truths and Myths of Christian Dating and Relationships

julettejoonengaged-073


Hello wonderful friends! Here’s a seminar that I gave in San Jose, CA about the truths and myths of dating & relationships within both the church-culture & pop-culture. Stream below or download directly here.

Some things I talk about are: “The time I overheard a couple have their final knock-down drag-out fight, my absolutely favorite type of scene in the movies, what everyone really wants in the hospital, dating theology from Taylor Swift, when God looks at you through the ceiling, and Christianity according to a cologne sample.”


I also did a follow-up Q&A which you can stream below or download here.


Some of the content is from my book on relationships.
Be immensely blessed! — J.S.


Photo from my engagement shoot, by Angel He Photography

A New Cover: My Book on Relationships, Purity, and Sex

 


Here’s my book on relationships with a brand new cover!

I go over the many myths about sex and purity in both the church and mainstream, and how the Christian faith can actually inform us on relationships and dating. I also talk about: Josh Harris, Taylor Swift, my fifteen year porn addiction, finding “the one,” a theology for singles, the idolatry of giving more attention to “attractive people,” when my friend failed her first beauty pageant, the time I tried to kill myself over a girl, and my non-romantic journey of breaking up and getting engaged to getting married. The Foreword is by the amazing Lauren Britt at yesdarlingido!

The book is also in ebook. To read an excerpt, here. To hear a message about relationships, here.

Be immensely blessed and love y’all! — J.S.


Breaking Porn Addiction: A Conversation With Yumi About Faith, Sex, & Church (Unedited)


Here’s the full length interview by theyumigirl on breaking porn addiction. We talk about faith, sex, and church for 40 minutes.

The shorter version is on her channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adw2GVd9sEQ

My book on quitting porn is here.

Be blessed and love y’all!

– J.S.

Singleness Is Not Waiting For “Completion”


Singleness doesn’t define your value, ever.

What exactly is “singleness”? I wish we would stop defining things by the absence of something else. Being single doesn’t mean you’re somehow “incomplete” until someone else completes you. Let’s pause to consider that even the idea of singleness is false at its best, and oppression at its worst.

In the first century, Apostle Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 7 specifically to address single people. To paraphrase, he said, “If you want to get married, good. If you want to stay single, good, and it could be better.” To you, this might sound ordinary. But at the time, it was a loaded bombshell. This was actually an entirely revolutionary view of sexuality that had been previously unheard of.

During Paul’s life, the Emperor of the Roman Empire was actually charging a fee for the unmarried because it was considered bad for the economy and the family (never mind that Caesar was already bad for both). Being married with a family was considered the gold status of society, and a single person could only have been a widow or prostitute; there was no middle ground.

So Paul comes along, and moved by the Spirit of God, completely wrecked the whole idea of family and marriage and singles. Though marriage is desirable, it’s not a “state of completion,” and we have an entire church of brothers and sisters in Christ who are meant for deep soul-community, for both singles and couples. Paul legitimized singleness as an absolutely acceptable life-choice, but more than that, said it can often be better for carrying out God’s mission on earth (1 Cor. 7:29-35). Paul himself was single, which itself would’ve been quite a scandal.


— J.S.


About Purity, Prayer-Sex, and Looking Past A Person’s Looks

Three questions about dating and relationships!

y-a-h-w-e-h asked a question:

What is prayer-sex (and why is it a sin)?

Continue reading “About Purity, Prayer-Sex, and Looking Past A Person’s Looks”

New E-Book on Quitting Porn

Cutting It Off


Here’s my newest book on breaking porn addiction!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QE2M6N2

This is a very short e-book about how I overcame a fifteen year porn addiction. I’ve now been sober for over three. Whether you’re helping a friend or struggling yourself, regardless of gender or faith, this is how to quit porn: not just for weeks at a time, but for good.

Only $2.99! And you won’t need a Kindle, it works on everything.
Be blessed and love y’all!
— J.S.


Christianese Dating: The Adventure of Dating and The Reality of Relationships

Christianese Dating Logo


Hello beloved wonderful friends!

This is a seminar I gave on dating and relationships to a wonderful ministry of college students and young adults in Gainesville FL, aka Gator Town.

It’s called The Adventure of Dating and The Reality of Relationships. It’s about the exciting prospect of dating and the gritty, difficult, raw reality of relationships. Stream here or download directly here!

Some of the content is from my new book on relationships called The Christianese Dating Culture.

Some things I talk about are: The romantic theology of Taylor Swift, that time I overheard a girlfriend catching her boyfriend with another woman, two soldiers at war gossiping about the Kardashians, the best Christian pick-up line ever, the gritty raw painful sweaty work of theater actors and ballerinas, the difference between “Saving Private Ryan” and “The Hurt Locker,” three directions that every relationship takes, if my fiancé gained 200 lbs, the scary anxious fear of marriage proposal and possibly hearing “Nope,” and a Q&A Session including the truth about “wives submitting” and how to find “The One.”

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.


Thank you, Lauren Britt!


The wonderful Lauren Britt of yesdarlingido wrote the Foreword to my new book on dating and relationships! So thankful for you, Lauren!

Pick it up on Amazon in either paperback or e-book! If you’re blessed, please consider writing an honest review. 🙂

In the book, some things I talk about are: The weird neurotic subculture of dating in the church, Joshua Harris and courtship, Taylor Swift’s sexual theology, how we give more attention to “attractive people,” my friend failing her first Beauty Pageant, that icky moment when you play a song you wrote in front of your friend while making eye contact, the lies about lust and purity, feeling like it’s “too late” if you already messed it up, recovery from my fifteen year porn addiction, the time I tried to kill myself over a girl, and the painful non-romanticized journey of getting engaged to be married.

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.



Pick it up on Amazon for only 8.89!


The Christian Life Isn’t What We Run From.


The Christian life can’t just be about running away from sin: but is ultimately about running to Him.

That means finding His mission, His purpose, and His heart for you. It means asking for His wisdom in how to discipline yourself, to be shaped by His truth, to be restructured in His image. It means bonding with other like-minded individuals to live out your God-given calling. It’s so fully experiencing the love of God that you are shaken down to your very core, melted and tenderized by His grace to never go back, but only pursue Him forward.



— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture


Alex Koo’s Book Review of The Christianese Dating Culture

Alex Koo Christianese Dating Review


Thank you again for the review, Alex Koo!

Also up the rankings on Amazon. Very honored and humbling to see my book up there with some of the greats.  I quoted both C.S. Lewis and Francis Chan as well. The book is on Amazon now in both paperback and e-book!

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.



“Sex and the Romantic Solution” by Timothy Keller


This is an absolutely brilliant sermon by Timothy Keller called “Sex and the Romantic Solution,” in which Pastor Tim does a cultural breakdown of popular love songs and Hollywood romance from decades past and recent, including Bruno Mars and Bridget Jones’ Diary, and talks about the painful quest of the human heart for romantic love.  He makes a case for exclusive sexual love and how Christianity offers the best possible way for romance.

Pastor Tim Keller has had a huge impact my own faith and writing, and was threaded throughout my recent book on dating (I quoted him 7 times, and his influence, also my influence, C.S. Lewis, 8 times).  This is worth the entire 27 minutes; there’s both great humor and cutting insight.



Breaking The Grip of the Lesser.


Here’s what I’ve learned about choosing the things of God and partaking in His mission.

I’ve noticed that after I disciple a young kid and see his eyes light up from the truth of the Bible, I can’t go back to how I was. It’s too good to give up. After I serve food at the homeless ministry, after I volunteer at a retreat, after I go on a mission trip, after I serve at an orphanage or a prison or the projects — the attraction of sin loses its grip on me.

Because the things of God are so much brighter and bigger and deeper than the things of this world. This is what Thomas Chalmers called the Expulsive Power of a New Affection.

Ever notice that after the gym, you’re too tired to fight anyone? Ever notice that after a healthy meal, you’re much less willing to eat a bag of Cheetos? And whether you “feel like” going to the gym or eating healthy, you choose it anyway: because not only is the alternative bad for you, but it makes the alternative less attractive.

Sometimes people wait to “feel right with God” to go serve Him. You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to be qualified or clean or deserving to serve. Your choices change your heart just as much as your heart changes your choices. What you do comes out of who you are, but who you are also comes out of what you do.

— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture


About Porn Addiction.


Hey dear friends, one of the most frequent questions I get is about breaking porn addiction. I was addicted for fifteen years and have now been sober for over three, by the grace of God (and a lot of vigilant work).

So I’m going to compile a very short booklet with every resource I have and every question from this blog about recovery from porn, including my own testimony. It’ll be an e-book coming out in December or so.

My heart is for both men and women to be free from the enslaving grip of objectification and from contributing to a pain-filled industry. This is also to help your friend through sobriety. It will be written for both Christians and non. I want you and your friend to experience freedom, and perhaps even encounter Christ.

If a guy like me can recover, so can you: and not for a few weeks at a time, but permanently. Love y’all.

— J.S.


Purchase my book on taboo topics in the church here.

Purchase my new book on love, sex, and dating here.


My Upcoming Book, Releasing Sunday October 26th!

Dating preview


Hello beloved wonderful friends!
This is a preview for the cover of my new book, releasing this Sunday, October 26th!
It’s called: The Christianese Dating Culture: On Courtship, Purity Rings, Prayer-Sex, and Other Weird Things We Do In Church.

I talk about the bizarre subculture of Christian dating within our churches, including an honest response to Joshua Harris (who wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye) and an examination of our reactionary church tactics.  I also get personal, about overcoming my fifteen year porn addiction and the time I tried to take my life over a girl. And like my last book, I answer real questions from real people about sex, dating, and relationships.

When you have time, please send a prayer, even for five seconds, that God will do His restorative life-giving work through these words, because God is in the business of infusing grace in busted up vessels like you and me.

Love y’all and thank you!
— J.S.


Crazy Blessed: Thank You, Dear Friends.

Best Seller Hot Release Devotionals

On the Amazon Christian Kindle List for Devotionals.



Caleb

My friend Caleb sent this to me. Honored and humbled to be next to the great Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who I also quoted in my book.



LB soap writers block gift

My wonderful friend Lauren from the blog Yesdarlingido sent me this to celebrate the book release.



— J.S.

Get the e-book on Amazon here!

And now in paperback here!


Before The L-Word, Let’s Talk About The F-Word: Love, Faith, and Purpose


Hello beloved wonderful friends!

This is a message I preached for the lively, lovely people of Refuge Full Gospel. 

It’s called: Before The L-Word, Let’s Talk About The F-Word: Love, Faith, and Purpose.

It’s about dating and relationships, and asking the hard questions about faith & life before pursuing love.

Before the sermon, I offer a prayer for Ferguson, Israel, Iraq, and Robin Williams, because I didn’t want to gloss over this in church.

Stream here or download directly here!


Some things I talk about are: The mistake we make when we focus on the methods & techniques of Christian dating, the way we hyper-romanticize mission trips and marriage, important questions to ask before pursuing our feelings and emotions, theological wisdom from Taylor Swift, how to share oxygen when you’re drowning underwater, and going after the absolute greatest adventure of our lives together.

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.




The Top Twelve Posts of 2012

From porn to evolution to flirting to neo-feminism, here are the Top Twelve Posts on this blog for the year.

Continue reading “The Top Twelve Posts of 2012”

Before asking about this sexual holiness stuff:

When I get questions about fighting for “sexual purity,” I always check out your blog. 

Usually the blog is full of half-naked women, toned up hairless dudes, almost-but-not-quite-but-could-be-porn, and some suggestive-raunchy-provocative imagery. Always a slew of oily tanned celebrities.  Plus plenty of dirty jokes, anti-parent slurs, and all kinds of entitled, angry, spoiled, insufferable memes.

In other words, I would never ever in a billion years let you near my future kids.

If you’re seriously asking about how to fight for holiness — well, hey, like: shouldn’t you actually get serious about that?

Continue reading “Before asking about this sexual holiness stuff:”