gracewan1 asked a question:
Is there such a thing/anything wrong with placing too high of an expectation for your future spouse? This is when what you desire does seem to align with what God wants for us?
Hey my friend, I think it’s totally right to set good expectations for a spouse. You’ll be living with this person the rest of your life and they’ll be raising children with you and at least half-responsible for your well-being and future direction. It’s a pretty big deal.
Yet as much stock as we put into a spouse, here’s a few things to consider.
1) Setting unreasonable expectations on a spouse can crush them or crush ourselves.
I’ve seen when men or women focus too much on finding the “right one” instead of making themselves the right one first. When this happens, a subtle shift in our heart makes us into a blame-shifting nightmare. When things go wrong, we blame the other person for falling short or we blame ourselves for screwing it up. Or if your spouse is in a bad mood, having a bad day, or feeling distant because of their own inner-drama, you’ll crush yourself on thinking you did this to them. An over-emphasis on anything in life will always control you or you’ll end up trying to control them.