Not every porn addict uses porn because of trauma or frustration or personal demons.
Sometimes, we’re just bored. There’s nothing else to do. And hours are wasted on late-night binging and mindless clicking through the internet abyss.
We crave story, adventure, and purpose: we are meaning-making creatures. Without a story, we fill the void with something else. And the only way to extinguish a “lesser desire” is to expulse it with a greater one, a bigger picture, a higher calling, or the “expulsive power of a new affection.“
Read the full post here. My book on quitting porn is here.
Hello wonderful friends! Here’s a seminar that I gave in San Jose, CA about the truths and myths of dating & relationships within both the church-culture & pop-culture. Stream below or download directly here.
Some things I talk about are: “The time I overheard a couple have their final knock-down drag-out fight, my absolutely favorite type of scene in the movies, what everyone really wants in the hospital, dating theology from Taylor Swift, when God looks at you through the ceiling, and Christianity according to a cologne sample.”
I also did a follow-up Q&A which you can stream below or download here.
Maybe a few hundred years ago, a 12 year old had to bodyslam a bear and turn it into a raincoat while marrying his third cousin in the shelter he made from a cactus, but these are not those days. Don’t let someone guilt you into the “Golden Years.” You are you, this is today, and it’s okay to be searching a little.
Anonymous asked: Does God give everyone talents? I haven’t figured mine out yet and i’m starting to believe that I dont have one.
Yes. God just about everywhere in the Bible is clear about uniquely wiring people with certain gifts for specific tasks, and I’d say every single person has got at least one super-wow ability to be unleashed on the world. Our brothers Oholiab and Bezalel were filled with the Spirit of God to sculpt the freaking temple where God lived. So God gave these brothers even the skill to swing a hammer in a ferocious way.
In 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4, and Romans 12, God talks about individual gifts given from the Holy Spirit to serve the church and the world. Most would argue this is different from a “talent.” Theologically, they may be right. But I do think we sometimes separate too much the “secular” talents and the “spiritual” gifts. Both are inherent to each individual, meaning we can’t really copy someone else’s abilities down to the letter, and these gifts are also to be cultivated and trained.
Discovering how God has uniquely wired you is the easy part. Just try everything. Not just what you like, and try it in large groups, and alone. Read a lot. Ask around.
The harder part is gut-checking your motives. Get this right: the purpose of your life is not the purpose of your life. You find a talent or a million, great, but that by itself is worthy of two seconds of applause or a search on YouTube. The purpose of your unique purpose is for God’s purposes. Seek that first and you know, everything else will be thrown in.