The Truths and Myths of Christian Dating and Relationships


Hello wonderful friends! Here’s a seminar that I gave in San Jose, CA about the truths and myths of dating & relationships within both the church-culture & pop-culture. Stream below or download directly here.

Some things I talk about are: “The time I overheard a couple have their final knock-down drag-out fight, my absolutely favorite type of scene in the movies, what everyone really wants in the hospital, dating theology from Taylor Swift, when God looks at you through the ceiling, and Christianity according to a cologne sample.”

I also did a follow-up Q&A which you can stream below or download here.

Be immensely blessed! — J.S.

Photo from my engagement shoot, by Angel He Photography

The Christian Life Isn’t What We Run From.

The Christian life can’t just be about running away from sin: but is ultimately about running to Him.

That means finding His mission, His purpose, and His heart for you. It means asking for His wisdom in how to discipline yourself, to be shaped by His truth, to be restructured in His image. It means bonding with other like-minded individuals to live out your God-given calling. It’s so fully experiencing the love of God that you are shaken down to your very core, melted and tenderized by His grace to never go back, but only pursue Him forward.

— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture

Breaking The Grip of the Lesser.

Here’s what I’ve learned about choosing the things of God and partaking in His mission.

I’ve noticed that after I disciple a young kid and see his eyes light up from the truth of the Bible, I can’t go back to how I was. It’s too good to give up. After I serve food at the homeless ministry, after I volunteer at a retreat, after I go on a mission trip, after I serve at an orphanage or a prison or the projects — the attraction of sin loses its grip on me.

Because the things of God are so much brighter and bigger and deeper than the things of this world. This is what Thomas Chalmers called the Expulsive Power of a New Affection.

Ever notice that after the gym, you’re too tired to fight anyone? Ever notice that after a healthy meal, you’re much less willing to eat a bag of Cheetos? And whether you “feel like” going to the gym or eating healthy, you choose it anyway: because not only is the alternative bad for you, but it makes the alternative less attractive.

Sometimes people wait to “feel right with God” to go serve Him. You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to be qualified or clean or deserving to serve. Your choices change your heart just as much as your heart changes your choices. What you do comes out of who you are, but who you are also comes out of what you do.

— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture

Book Review: Pure Eyes

Pure Eyes
By Craig Gross

Craig Gross of Xxxchurch, the “porn pastor” who regularly debates pornstar Ron Jeremy and evangelizes at pornstar conventions, has written the magnum opus on porn addiction. This is a singularly focused book on the addiction without any mention of morality, the industry, or what the Bible may or may not say about it. It’s a razor sharp work. It’s designed to get you free.

I was certain the book would moralize porn addiction into an argument. But no: the book assumes you’re already ruined by it, and that’s a good assumption. It dives right into the physiological and psychological aspects of the problem. There is not a page wasted on arguing on the “why” of recovery, where Craig Gross and others have written elsewhere. The methods, both physical and spiritual, are covered in great detail.

The most fascinating part of the book is the interview with a clinical professor and a certified sex therapist who reveal the physiological nature of addictive behavior. It is a serious problem: there is absolute destruction to the porn-addicted brain. It is akin to heroin addiction in both the behavioral patterns and the bodily consequences. This chapter by far was a good swift punch in the gut.

Continue reading “Book Review: Pure Eyes”

A King Up There

Sometimes I ask God to purify my lust. It’s like asking God to polish my poo.

We can ask God to clean up our dirty motives, or ask Him to give us all new motives as He intends.

Continue reading “A King Up There”