The Top Twelve Posts of 2012

From porn to evolution to flirting to neo-feminism, here are the Top Twelve Posts on this blog for the year.

Continue reading “The Top Twelve Posts of 2012”

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Question: Bargaining With God And Sabotaging My Blessings

Anonymous asked:

It has been almost 3 years since I recommitted my life to Christ. During those years I hung unto the promise that God would send me a husband when the time was right and all I had to do was delight in the work of the Lord and serve him, so that stopped me from masturbating and having sex. Recently … I feel tied to this sin again. How can I break free? Also do you think that I’ve somehow thwarted my blessings? I’ve noticed how much God had blessed me when I was serving Him and I don’t want to lose that connection I had with Him.  (edited)


First, before I go into any kind of lecture-mode or theological monologues, I really want to commend you on your total honesty here.  Most people would never half-admit this sort of thing even anonymously, so you’re stepping in the right direction.

So please understand, my dear friend, that ANY kind of bargain with God is not a good idea.  While I do believe that God blesses obedience to Him, the most important blessing that God gives is Himself

If you’re trying to obey Him in hopes that He’ll give you a husband, that’s already an upside-down-sideways-backwards negotiation that could end in bitter disappointment.  It’s essentially like those parody skits where someone says, “God, I’ll totally serve you if you totally do this for me.” 

Telling God “This-or-else” even when it’s not in those words is only going to hurt you.  Not because God is doing the hurting, but because you’re setting yourself up with unrealistic expectations that the Word does not promise.

Continue reading “Question: Bargaining With God And Sabotaging My Blessings”

Why Do I Use Porn? Why Can’t I Stop?

Edit: November 16th, 2014
– There will be an e-book with all the material on quitting porn, updated and edited, in the first week of December 2014. It will be $2.99 on Amazon!

An ongoing discussion about victory over sexual addiction.

The introduction here.

Part One, excuses and myths, here.

Part Two, the science, here.

Part Three, the soul, here.

Part Three and a half, the soul, here.

Part Four: I’m Ready To Cut It Off. Here.

Part Five: Quitting Isn’t Enough. Here.

Unless you’re in denial, you don’t just use porn when you’re “bored.”

A life overwhelmed, a mind undisciplined, and a heart calloused will find the quickest path to escape, and for men that’s usually going to their room with the lights off and pants down and laptop open. In that private dark space where at last you’re in control, that’s when you’ve lost it the most.

There’s a mess of reasons you turn to it and can’t seem to stop, and unless we dig through the cycle together, you’ll only be scratching the surface with behavioral clean-up. Triggers, trauma, upbringing, worldviews, and your sense of self-worth will all play into why you use porn.

It’s never about the porn. Let’s dig deep.

Continue reading “Why Do I Use Porn? Why Can’t I Stop?”

“How Jesus Overcame My Porn Problem”



A testimony from Mark Driscoll’s website by Jake Johnson, a staff member of Mars Hill Church.

Excerpt:

“If you are struggling with porn, the first step to recovery is to be truthful with yourself about your sin, and the second step is being truthful both with God and with those whom you love, including your church.

“… I took my wife to lunch and confessed my sins against her and how I had hid my sinful and idolatrous addiction to porn from her for over six years.

“It was the most fearful moment of my life—and the most freeing. For the first time in our marriage, my wife knew who I really was and I no longer needed to spend so much time and energy worrying about whether she’d find out. Rather than fight the battle alone, I was now able to make restitution and have my wife and my church community fight with me.”

Continue Reading at Mark Driscoll’s Site


Read Related:
— Porn Addiction: An Introduction
— Question: Quit Porn, But What About Masturbating?a>
— Question: So Porn Is A Sin?
— Question: Porn Killed My Feelings For God, Now What?
— Question: Just used porn, what do I do?


Beating addictions



Beating addictions is not as easy as 1-2-3, but here are three things to consider behaviorally as you surrender destructive habits. This was preached by Pastor James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel (who may have gotten it from someone else), and I haven’t forgotten it since. While behavioral strategies cannot ultimately overcome, it’s still useful while learning to grip your identity as a forgiven soul in Christ.

The Three L Words

1) Lock: Some things need to be given up immediately. Lock yourself out of Wifi, out of certain places, out of the contacts who can supply your fix, out of that person or group who stirs up a dangerous chemistry. Lock up the liquor cabinet, lock up your hands, lock up your heart.

2) Limit: Severely handicap your internet browser. Check your movement: always let at least one person know where you are at all times. Limit time stolen away by dumb things. Limit your language (not your expression or others’ voices). Limit a runaway meal. Limit debt. You’ll notice as you begin to limit that when you’re given unprecedented access, you’ll actually want less of it anyway.

3) Leave: Leave the room. Leave your laptop at church. Leave the argument, the bad “relationship,” the group who gossips. Leave a door open. Leave with your friends. Get up and walk away quickly. Don’t look back.

Just so you know, I’ve done 100% of what’s been written here. Not perfectly, but persistently.