“3 Ways Accountability Will Change Your Life”


Here’s an article I wrote that’s been published on X3Church, called:

“3 Ways Accountability Will Change Your Life.”

It’s about the uncomfortable, brutally surgical confrontation of accountability and its necessary benefits for growth and life.

Here’s an excerpt:

You’re ready to quit your addiction.

You’re ready to be teachable, to be under leadership and mentoring.

You’re ready to own your problem and get the help you need.

You’re ready for accountability.

All this sounds romantic, but accountability is a deliberate confrontation with yourself through another person—and confrontation is hard. It’s even harder when you begin to see the depth of your own issues and all the ugliness inside, the things you were happy to ignore before you decided to recover. We’re so much more entrenched in our habits than we think, so accustomed to “the way things were” that our bodies will desperately claw back to our old destructive ways.

Recovery is a street-fight, and our darker side will never fight fair.

Read the full post here. My book on quitting porn is here.
J.S.

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Blame, Accountability, and Addiction


Here’s an article I wrote that’s been published on X3Church, called:

“3 Ways to Stop Blaming Others and Finally Own Your Porn Problem.”

It’s about letting go of blame and receiving accountability for destructive habits, including porn and other addictions. It’s also centered around a talk by author and researcher Brené Brown.

Here’s an excerpt:

Our instant defense mechanism when something goes wrong is to say, “Tag, you’re it.” Our egos are constantly trying to protect us from feeling wrong, because we associate this with being unloved or unaccepted. All this makes a logical sort of sense, but it’s dangerous, because our initial instinct is to drag others down with us. This in turn only justifies and reinforces our cycle of destruction.

We feed our bad habits with blame. This loop can go on forever. Yet if we struck down this Hydra of Blame like a whack-a-mole before it got to others or ourselves, the inner monologue might change.

Thinking this way, as Brené Brown implies, suddenly lets go of control and creates a scary uncertainty. But it also exposes our blame-game for what it is: an excuse to use, stay mad, or stay withdrawn. When blame is named, it shrivels up and loses power.


Read the full post here. My book on quitting porn is here.
J.S.


“4 Unexpected Things That Happen When You Quit Porn”


Here’s an article I wrote that’s been published on X3Church, called:

“4 Unexpected Things That Happen When You Quit Porn.”

It’s about four ultimately great outcomes of healing that happen when you quit porn addiction. Here’s an excerpt:

When someone tells me that pornography doesn’t do any harm to the body, I can only reply, “Try to quit porn for a month. See how much better you feel.”

Really. Try to quit porn for just a month.

… Many people are too scared to leave behind porn, because quitting any supposed “pleasure” in our culture feels like an amputation, or some kind of offense against our autonomy. “You can’t tell me what to do” is the leading logic.

But the people who do take up my challenge to quit porn always thank me later. Why? It’s because porn has such an insidious, destructive grip on the brain and body that you can always feel the healing when you quit.

Here are four things that happen when you begin to quit porn.


Read the full post here. My book on quitting porn is here.
J.S.

The Revised Edition of “What The Church Won’t Talk About”


My first published book What The Church Won’t Talk About has turned a year old, and for its anniversary I’ve made a revised second edition with over 16,000 words of new content, plus a new cover. The paperback is here and the ebook is here!

The Foreword is by the amazing T.B. LaBerge and the updates include topics like marriage, ministry, social media, race, career, and fighting depression. The first edition is still available here.

The rest of my books are here.
Be immensely blessed and love y’all!
— J.S.


Breaking Porn Addiction: A Conversation With Yumi About Faith, Sex, & Church (Unedited)


Here’s the full length interview by theyumigirl on breaking porn addiction. We talk about faith, sex, and church for 40 minutes.

The shorter version is on her channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adw2GVd9sEQ

My book on quitting porn is here.

Be blessed and love y’all!

– J.S.

Here’s My Book on Quitting Porn

Cutting It Off paperback


My book on quitting porn, Cutting It Off is available from Amazon for only 5.99!
The ebook is only 2.99 and works on every device.

It’s written for you or to help your friend, regardless of gender or beliefs, and has info on what porn does to your brain, practical steps to quit, and how to quit for good.

The book has officially been endorsed by Craig Gross of X3Church, of which I’m also a contributing blogger.

Total freedom and sobriety is possible.
Be blessed, dear friends!
— J.S.

All Four Books in Paperback!

JS Books instagram


All four of my books are now only 5.99 to 8.99. They’re available on my Amazon author page here:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00NZ70FDW

(Please consider leaving a review for any you might have read!)
Be blessed and love y’all!
— J.S.


My Book On Quitting Porn: Now In Paperback!

Cutting It Off paperback


My book on quitting porn is now in paperback for only $5.99 on Amazon! It’s also been endorsed by Craig Gross of X3Church, where I’m now a contributing blogger.

It’s a short little book on my fifteen year porn addiction and how you can quit permanently, for good.

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.


http://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Off-Breaking-Porn-Addiction/dp/1505350891

“Unlocking Addiction: A Secret Hidden in Plain Sight”

 


This is a two-parter I wrote for XXXChurch about the “secret” to unlocking addiction. The secret is something you knew all along: the first crucial step to recovery.

Part One is here. Part Two is here.

Here’s an excerpt:

When we talk about addiction, we usually narrow it down to one of two categories, which we can examine in one question:

Is addiction a disease or is it a choice?

In most conservative circles, addiction is viewed on a moral axis of increasingly bad decisions, as if we only need to stop being so stubborn and just choose our way out, while in most liberal circles, addiction is viewed as a biological propensity of wiring, as if we cannot help ourselves.

Of course, these binary categories presume we can tag one another with simple labels, but in reality, addiction doesn’t work that way. It’s a complex mess of factors that requires our attention in every direction. It’s an unpredictable monster that refuses to yield to our generalizations, and as long as it remains in a box, so will we. Addiction is complicated because we are complicated.

Keep reading here and here.

— J.S.

Thank You, Dear Brother!


Thank you to Jason Wan, who got all three of my books at once!


My books are here:

– What The Church Won’t Talk About

– The Christianese Dating Culture

– Cutting If Off: Breaking Porn Addiction

Be blessed, dear friends!
— J.S.


On Relationships and Quitting Porn

Dating Quitting paperback

My book on relationships is only 7.99 and my book on quitting porn is only 5.99!

If you’ve been blessed by the books, please consider leaving a review on Amazon!

— J.S.


Now Part of the X3Church Team!

JS Park XChurch


I’m super excited to be a part of the blogging contributor team for XXXChurch!

For all my posts, check here.

If you don’t know, XXXChurch is led by Craig Gross, who has led the frontlines on awareness for porn addiction and founded X3Watch, the leading accountability software.  He also nationally debates former porn-actor Ron Jeremy about the dangers of porn.

Craig and I made contact after I shared my book on quitting porn, which he found highly practical and different than the current resources on the market.  I was a bit star-struck since I consider Craig’s books to be one of the primary helps in quitting my own porn addiction (I’ve been sober for over three years!). I’m looking forward to teaming up with him!

My first blog post for XXXChurch is here!

— J.S.


Thank you dear friends!

Instagram books 3


Thank you dear friends for picking up the book and praying it totally rocks you with His wonderful grace!

My books are here:

– What The Church Won’t Talk About

– The Christianese Dating Culture

– Cutting If Off: Breaking Porn Addiction

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.


My Books Are On Sale!


My book on love, sex, and dating is now on sale for only 8.29 and my book on quitting porn is on sale for 5.39!

If you’ve been blessed by the books, please consider leaving a review on Amazon!

— J.S.


My Books Are All In Paperback!


All three of my books are now available in paperback!

If you’ve been blessed by the books, please consider leaving a review on Amazon.

Happy New Year, dear friends!

– What The Church Won’t Talk About

– The Christianese Dating Culture

– Cutting If Off: Breaking Porn Addiction

— J.S.


My New E-Book on Quitting Porn

Cutting It Off Amazon

Here’s my newest e-book on breaking porn addiction.

This is a very short e-book about how I overcame a fifteen year porn addiction. I’ve now been sober for over three.  I talk about what porn does to your brain, specific steps to quit, and how you can quit permanently, not just for a few weeks at a time but for good.

I know how embarrassing it can be to talk about porn, but this book is designed for both you and to help your friend, regardless of gender or beliefs.  This is not a Christian book disguised as self-help — the book is first and foremost a guide to quitting porn, with elements of Christian faith deeply rooted.

It’s only $2.99! And you won’t need a Kindle, it works on everything.
Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.


For Your Holiday Reading

Paperbacks


Hello dear wonderful friends!

So I wrote some books. I want to graciously ask if you’ve been blessed by the books (or if you hated them!) and if you have some time, to please consider writing an honest review on Amazon. Takes just a few moments and it will really help out a lot!

And of course, if you haven’t gotten them yet, they’re both on sale for less than 9 dollars. 🙂
Pick them up for holiday reading!

What The Church Won’t Talk About

The Christianese Dating Culture

Thank you and love y’all. Be blessed!

– J.S.


Pics Of My Book From All Over

Books JS Park


Pictures of my book from friends all over! From:

Eric Choi in Chicago, Illinois

Deb Simon in Cadillac, Michigan

Alexa Rae in Long Island, New York

Chan-Woo Park at UF in Gainesville, Florida

One of my mentors, Pastor Jake English in Lutz, FL

The book is on Amazon in both paperback and e-book, for sale here!
If you got the paperback, the e-book drops to 1.99. Be blessed and love y’all 🙂

— J.S.


How’s Your Life After Porn Addiction? And Is There Any Hope To Find a Lust-Free Man?

speaktenderly asked a question:

Since your porn addiction and recovery, do you have freedom in the way you see women now? Are you still affected by objectifying thoughts? I ask as I am a woman, discouraged at the state of men. Just recently a very godly man attempted to push boundaries with me – and it honestly broke my heart. Can you make sense of how men and lust works? Can someone love you and in the next moment hurt you because of being led by lust? Then he claimed it was because he wanted to be close? I need truth.

Hey there my friend, thank you for your honesty, and I’m really sorry about what you just went through.  I know that broken trust is one of the most hurtful things that can happen.

What happened to you is absolutely dead wrong.  If a man goes against your consent, that is completely done and over.  No sympathy, no pity, no pampering.  He cannot rationalize his way out of this one.  You can forgive him, but you don’t ever have to be his friend or anything else.

Inevitably though: Any man that you meet today, no matter how good and godly, will struggle with lust in a lifelong battle of both internal and external turbulence, and while some are better at it than others, you’ll definitely be engaging to fight that battle together.  This goes for women, too, because illegitimate lust is not specific to gender.

About a hundred years ago, most of the sensual lewd images of that day would’ve been bare feet or maybe an ankle bone.  Imagine a bunch of dudes with mustaches and monocles looking at a picture saying, “Unfh, dat ankle.”  I’m being dumb here, but only a few generations before us, we weren’t bombarded with so many visual lures.

I say this knowing that 1) the human heart has always been twisted, and 2) we can’t blame external stimuli for our internal troubles.  But the pervasive access to pornography has certainly heightened our sexual dysfunction, and there’s no doubt that we live in a much more sexualized culture than ever before.  And the US is not even the most sexually “free” nation.  So all this is an uphill reality that needs a new arsenal.

Continue reading “How’s Your Life After Porn Addiction? And Is There Any Hope To Find a Lust-Free Man?”

Question: Fell Again To Porn And Can’t Break Free

Anonymous asked:

Hi pastor, I went 11 days without pornography/masturbation. I faltered last night and gave in. The temptation was too strong not only emotionally but very physically.  I could not help it. I prayed for it to go away because I really do want to stop but … I’m stuck and starting to think God isn’t going to help me out. So all I’ve been doing is praying for forgiveness. But since I’ve done this vicious cycle so many times I don’t know if I’m actually forgiven, because I don’t actually know if I’m truly sorry because I’ve been through this so many times … I’m just stumped and don’t know where to go from here, I just want all temptation to go away.

Hey there dear friend.  Thank you so much for your honesty and for even trusting me with such a huge issue.

Please first allow me the grace to link a post that contains every other post I’ve written on porn:

– Mega-Post: Struggling With Porn (Again)

I have to say upfront that you are still just as loved by God as you were yesterday, a billion years ago, and a billion years from now.  I know I’m probably not supposed to say that because it can accidentally make Christians “lazy,” but it’s true.  Whether you decide to receive His grace for good or for bad, either way He still loves you.  That’s the most important thing I could say, and it’s the only motivation strong enough to keep us moving forward from sin towards Him.

You also need to know that fighting sin is a process.  Sometimes it is lifelong.  It’s not something that we can just “pray away” or will disappear one day.  It gets easier to handle, but we will be in battle with our flesh until glory.

After we mess up, we often only look at the tiny microscopic moment of what just happened.  But God sees us over a lifetime.  He knows if you really want to quit, if you are truly repenting, if you are really pursuing Him.  And the crazy thing is: even if you never regretted it, He will still love you.  If you can know His heart this way, then suddenly it’s not about quitting anymore.  Instead, it’s about knowing Him. 

Continue reading “Question: Fell Again To Porn And Can’t Break Free”