New E-Book on Quitting Porn

Cutting It Off


Here’s my newest book on breaking porn addiction!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QE2M6N2

This is a very short e-book about how I overcame a fifteen year porn addiction. I’ve now been sober for over three. Whether you’re helping a friend or struggling yourself, regardless of gender or faith, this is how to quit porn: not just for weeks at a time, but for good.

Only $2.99! And you won’t need a Kindle, it works on everything.
Be blessed and love y’all!
— J.S.


The Christian Life Isn’t What We Run From.


The Christian life can’t just be about running away from sin: but is ultimately about running to Him.

That means finding His mission, His purpose, and His heart for you. It means asking for His wisdom in how to discipline yourself, to be shaped by His truth, to be restructured in His image. It means bonding with other like-minded individuals to live out your God-given calling. It’s so fully experiencing the love of God that you are shaken down to your very core, melted and tenderized by His grace to never go back, but only pursue Him forward.



— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture


Alex Koo’s Book Review of The Christianese Dating Culture

Alex Koo Christianese Dating Review


Thank you again for the review, Alex Koo!

Also up the rankings on Amazon. Very honored and humbling to see my book up there with some of the greats.  I quoted both C.S. Lewis and Francis Chan as well. The book is on Amazon now in both paperback and e-book!

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.



Breaking The Grip of the Lesser.


Here’s what I’ve learned about choosing the things of God and partaking in His mission.

I’ve noticed that after I disciple a young kid and see his eyes light up from the truth of the Bible, I can’t go back to how I was. It’s too good to give up. After I serve food at the homeless ministry, after I volunteer at a retreat, after I go on a mission trip, after I serve at an orphanage or a prison or the projects — the attraction of sin loses its grip on me.

Because the things of God are so much brighter and bigger and deeper than the things of this world. This is what Thomas Chalmers called the Expulsive Power of a New Affection.

Ever notice that after the gym, you’re too tired to fight anyone? Ever notice that after a healthy meal, you’re much less willing to eat a bag of Cheetos? And whether you “feel like” going to the gym or eating healthy, you choose it anyway: because not only is the alternative bad for you, but it makes the alternative less attractive.

Sometimes people wait to “feel right with God” to go serve Him. You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to be qualified or clean or deserving to serve. Your choices change your heart just as much as your heart changes your choices. What you do comes out of who you are, but who you are also comes out of what you do.

— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture


How To Stop Lust (Lust Is NOT The Problem: It’s Us)

So many men are trying to overcome lust and porn addiction and fantasizing — but the bad news is, we will fail.

The thing about stopping lust is that we can’t just “stop lust.”

That’s impossible.  You might as well try to bite your ear or benchpress an airplane.

Besides: what you’re experiencing is probably not lust, but just your hormones and desires and natural human design.  There’s nothing wrong with that, at all.  We were made to have attraction and chemistry and romance and get married and have sex and make babies.  To suppress that is to undermine our humanity: and God wants to make us more human, not less.

 

Actual lust is when you’re excessively orbiting around the objectification of another human being.  It’s when natural desire becomes impersonal impulse. It’s to consider flesh as your mental play-toy and physical receptacle.  It uses and abuses.  It dehumanizes. 

But lust is not just a bad organ that you can cut out of your body.  Lust problems are indicative of a much bigger picture.  It’s a systemic widespread issue that is connected to all the areas of your life.  It’s wrapped up in who you are.

If you spend money like crazy, wake up in time for dinner, twist the truth to manipulate other people, show up late to everything, never listen to anyone, never put in effort anywhere, and push your agenda everywhere — then you will inevitably be a more lustful person. I would know, because I was like this.

If you live an undisciplined life: I wouldn’t expect that lust would be easy to control.  Whatever we choose to orbit, this fundamental axis will also determine our thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes.  Each facet of your life is so interconnected that if you move one, the others must follow.

Continue reading “How To Stop Lust (Lust Is NOT The Problem: It’s Us)”

Question: How To Reconcile With My Ex?

Anonymous asked (edited for length and anonymity):

So here’s my situation: I ended an extremely destructive relationship around 2 years ago. The relationship was based almost entirely on lust … The relationship ended badly … So for the next few years, I actively tried to avoid her because I felt that an encounter would be “awkward” and “uncomfortable.”

I was recently convicted to apologize and try to reconcile with her … But since I took something that I can never return — her sexual purity — do you have any advice as to what I could or should do in terms of making amends?


First of all, I highly applaud you for owning up to your sin and carrying forth with your convictions.  Very few men — or boys — would even dare consider approaching an ex they had most likely messed up. Not only is it excruciating to start that process, but she might be a constant reminder of where you fell short.  That is, if you don’t try to reconcile in earnest.

Of course, pray through it and make sure you’re doing it to truly elevate the name of Jesus, not to remedy your guilt or rectify a past mistake. 

Let’s hit up some reminders.

Continue reading “Question: How To Reconcile With My Ex?”

Before asking about this sexual holiness stuff:

When I get questions about fighting for “sexual purity,” I always check out your blog. 

Usually the blog is full of half-naked women, toned up hairless dudes, almost-but-not-quite-but-could-be-porn, and some suggestive-raunchy-provocative imagery. Always a slew of oily tanned celebrities.  Plus plenty of dirty jokes, anti-parent slurs, and all kinds of entitled, angry, spoiled, insufferable memes.

In other words, I would never ever in a billion years let you near my future kids.

If you’re seriously asking about how to fight for holiness — well, hey, like: shouldn’t you actually get serious about that?

Continue reading “Before asking about this sexual holiness stuff:”