“4 Ways To Prevent Porn in Your Home”

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Here’s an article I wrote that’s been published on X3Church.

It’s called 4 Ways To Prevent Porn In Your Home.

These are the first steps we can take in our homes to recover from porn addiction. Here’s an excerpt:


The very act of taking a first step to prevent porn can lead to momentum, which can lead to total, lasting freedom. Those first steps matter.

If you can do what you ought for a while, it can become what you want for life. Once you’re in the stream of recovery, it builds on itself until you’ve hit a sweet spot of small victories that link to big ones.

It’s the initial smaller victories that require an uncomfortable re-structuring of your habits and your home.


Read the full post here. My book on quitting porn is here.

— J.S.


Breaking Porn Addiction: A Conversation With Yumi About Faith, Sex, & Church (Unedited)


Here’s the full length interview by theyumigirl on breaking porn addiction. We talk about faith, sex, and church for 40 minutes.

The shorter version is on her channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adw2GVd9sEQ

My book on quitting porn is here.

Be blessed and love y’all!

– J.S.

My Book On Quitting Porn: Now In Paperback!

Cutting It Off paperback


My book on quitting porn is now in paperback for only $5.99 on Amazon! It’s also been endorsed by Craig Gross of X3Church, where I’m now a contributing blogger.

It’s a short little book on my fifteen year porn addiction and how you can quit permanently, for good.

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.


http://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Off-Breaking-Porn-Addiction/dp/1505350891

Now Part of the X3Church Team!

JS Park XChurch


I’m super excited to be a part of the blogging contributor team for XXXChurch!

For all my posts, check here.

If you don’t know, XXXChurch is led by Craig Gross, who has led the frontlines on awareness for porn addiction and founded X3Watch, the leading accountability software.  He also nationally debates former porn-actor Ron Jeremy about the dangers of porn.

Craig and I made contact after I shared my book on quitting porn, which he found highly practical and different than the current resources on the market.  I was a bit star-struck since I consider Craig’s books to be one of the primary helps in quitting my own porn addiction (I’ve been sober for over three years!). I’m looking forward to teaming up with him!

My first blog post for XXXChurch is here!

— J.S.


My New E-Book on Quitting Porn

Cutting It Off Amazon

Here’s my newest e-book on breaking porn addiction.

This is a very short e-book about how I overcame a fifteen year porn addiction. I’ve now been sober for over three.  I talk about what porn does to your brain, specific steps to quit, and how you can quit permanently, not just for a few weeks at a time but for good.

I know how embarrassing it can be to talk about porn, but this book is designed for both you and to help your friend, regardless of gender or beliefs.  This is not a Christian book disguised as self-help — the book is first and foremost a guide to quitting porn, with elements of Christian faith deeply rooted.

It’s only $2.99! And you won’t need a Kindle, it works on everything.
Be blessed and love y’all!

— J.S.


New E-Book on Quitting Porn

Cutting It Off


Here’s my newest book on breaking porn addiction!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QE2M6N2

This is a very short e-book about how I overcame a fifteen year porn addiction. I’ve now been sober for over three. Whether you’re helping a friend or struggling yourself, regardless of gender or faith, this is how to quit porn: not just for weeks at a time, but for good.

Only $2.99! And you won’t need a Kindle, it works on everything.
Be blessed and love y’all!
— J.S.


Breaking The Grip of the Lesser.


Here’s what I’ve learned about choosing the things of God and partaking in His mission.

I’ve noticed that after I disciple a young kid and see his eyes light up from the truth of the Bible, I can’t go back to how I was. It’s too good to give up. After I serve food at the homeless ministry, after I volunteer at a retreat, after I go on a mission trip, after I serve at an orphanage or a prison or the projects — the attraction of sin loses its grip on me.

Because the things of God are so much brighter and bigger and deeper than the things of this world. This is what Thomas Chalmers called the Expulsive Power of a New Affection.

Ever notice that after the gym, you’re too tired to fight anyone? Ever notice that after a healthy meal, you’re much less willing to eat a bag of Cheetos? And whether you “feel like” going to the gym or eating healthy, you choose it anyway: because not only is the alternative bad for you, but it makes the alternative less attractive.

Sometimes people wait to “feel right with God” to go serve Him. You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to be qualified or clean or deserving to serve. Your choices change your heart just as much as your heart changes your choices. What you do comes out of who you are, but who you are also comes out of what you do.

— J.S. from The Christianese Dating Culture


About Porn Addiction.


Hey dear friends, one of the most frequent questions I get is about breaking porn addiction. I was addicted for fifteen years and have now been sober for over three, by the grace of God (and a lot of vigilant work).

So I’m going to compile a very short booklet with every resource I have and every question from this blog about recovery from porn, including my own testimony. It’ll be an e-book coming out in December or so.

My heart is for both men and women to be free from the enslaving grip of objectification and from contributing to a pain-filled industry. This is also to help your friend through sobriety. It will be written for both Christians and non. I want you and your friend to experience freedom, and perhaps even encounter Christ.

If a guy like me can recover, so can you: and not for a few weeks at a time, but permanently. Love y’all.

— J.S.


Purchase my book on taboo topics in the church here.

Purchase my new book on love, sex, and dating here.


When You Mess It Up Again.


God totally has grace for you when you mess it up. He loves you no matter what. He wants you to cast off guilt and shame, because it doesn’t work and it’s not who you are and it’s what Jesus came to die for.

On the other hand: God does want you to recover. He wants you not only to experience the cover of grace, but also His grace-empowered Spirit for a fruitful, passionate, purposeful, mission-driven life.

I believe God will restore you every time you fail for the rest of your life, so when you relapse and go down a porn-binge, God is still going to love you afterward, every time. But my question is: Do you really want to keep living this way?

I’m not asking this to guilt-trip you. I’m only saying that once the old self is dead, it’s not worth it to go back there anymore. I don’t think Lazarus missed his tomb and climbed into his coffin sometimes. I don’t think the healed blind man Bartimaeus wore a blindfold to reminisce on his days tripping over things.

You’ll be forgiven by God every single time, but God wants you to experience the fully forgiven life too.

So if you break a “clean streak,” please don’t wallow in self-pity. When you mess it up, it’s okay. But what’s even better is getting to the place where going back is no longer an option, and you’re so in love with God that turning around is unthinkable. I believe we can get there. I believe our God is that powerful. I believe we are not merely works in progress, but we are empowered by It Is Finished.


J.S. from What The Church Won’t Talk About


How’s Your Life After Porn Addiction? And Is There Any Hope To Find a Lust-Free Man?

speaktenderly asked a question:

Since your porn addiction and recovery, do you have freedom in the way you see women now? Are you still affected by objectifying thoughts? I ask as I am a woman, discouraged at the state of men. Just recently a very godly man attempted to push boundaries with me – and it honestly broke my heart. Can you make sense of how men and lust works? Can someone love you and in the next moment hurt you because of being led by lust? Then he claimed it was because he wanted to be close? I need truth.

Hey there my friend, thank you for your honesty, and I’m really sorry about what you just went through.  I know that broken trust is one of the most hurtful things that can happen.

What happened to you is absolutely dead wrong.  If a man goes against your consent, that is completely done and over.  No sympathy, no pity, no pampering.  He cannot rationalize his way out of this one.  You can forgive him, but you don’t ever have to be his friend or anything else.

Inevitably though: Any man that you meet today, no matter how good and godly, will struggle with lust in a lifelong battle of both internal and external turbulence, and while some are better at it than others, you’ll definitely be engaging to fight that battle together.  This goes for women, too, because illegitimate lust is not specific to gender.

About a hundred years ago, most of the sensual lewd images of that day would’ve been bare feet or maybe an ankle bone.  Imagine a bunch of dudes with mustaches and monocles looking at a picture saying, “Unfh, dat ankle.”  I’m being dumb here, but only a few generations before us, we weren’t bombarded with so many visual lures.

I say this knowing that 1) the human heart has always been twisted, and 2) we can’t blame external stimuli for our internal troubles.  But the pervasive access to pornography has certainly heightened our sexual dysfunction, and there’s no doubt that we live in a much more sexualized culture than ever before.  And the US is not even the most sexually “free” nation.  So all this is an uphill reality that needs a new arsenal.

Continue reading “How’s Your Life After Porn Addiction? And Is There Any Hope To Find a Lust-Free Man?”

Question: Fell Again To Porn And Can’t Break Free

Anonymous asked:

Hi pastor, I went 11 days without pornography/masturbation. I faltered last night and gave in. The temptation was too strong not only emotionally but very physically.  I could not help it. I prayed for it to go away because I really do want to stop but … I’m stuck and starting to think God isn’t going to help me out. So all I’ve been doing is praying for forgiveness. But since I’ve done this vicious cycle so many times I don’t know if I’m actually forgiven, because I don’t actually know if I’m truly sorry because I’ve been through this so many times … I’m just stumped and don’t know where to go from here, I just want all temptation to go away.

Hey there dear friend.  Thank you so much for your honesty and for even trusting me with such a huge issue.

Please first allow me the grace to link a post that contains every other post I’ve written on porn:

– Mega-Post: Struggling With Porn (Again)

I have to say upfront that you are still just as loved by God as you were yesterday, a billion years ago, and a billion years from now.  I know I’m probably not supposed to say that because it can accidentally make Christians “lazy,” but it’s true.  Whether you decide to receive His grace for good or for bad, either way He still loves you.  That’s the most important thing I could say, and it’s the only motivation strong enough to keep us moving forward from sin towards Him.

You also need to know that fighting sin is a process.  Sometimes it is lifelong.  It’s not something that we can just “pray away” or will disappear one day.  It gets easier to handle, but we will be in battle with our flesh until glory.

After we mess up, we often only look at the tiny microscopic moment of what just happened.  But God sees us over a lifetime.  He knows if you really want to quit, if you are truly repenting, if you are really pursuing Him.  And the crazy thing is: even if you never regretted it, He will still love you.  If you can know His heart this way, then suddenly it’s not about quitting anymore.  Instead, it’s about knowing Him. 

Continue reading “Question: Fell Again To Porn And Can’t Break Free”

Breaking Free of the Idols That Break Us


Hello beloved friends!

This is the seventh and final part of a sermon series called “The Life of King David: From Stone-Slinger to Royal Sinner.”

The message is titled: Breaking Free of the Idols That Break Us.

It’s about finding freedom from the unhealthy attachments that hurt us, including a breakdown of false solutions and the process of true victory.

Stream here or download here!


Some things I talk about are: The unfortunate trashy creepiness of singing competitions, when Asians hate other Asians of a different Asian nation, Four Types of Idols that enslave us, when I find out someone doesn’t like me, that moment the preacher tells you to throw away all your stuff, and the only true heart surgery that breaks free of addiction into victory.

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J




Cutting It Off: The How – Specific Steps To Quit Porn



Cutting It Off: The How – Specific Steps To Quit Porn

This is the third part in the series “Cutting It Off.” In this episode, I answer three anonymous questions about the specific steps to quit porn.

Download directly here or stream it here.
(12 minutes in length)

 

For this entire podcast series, click here.

You can read my blog post series on porn addiction here.

Love y’all!

— J.S.



“Jimmy Needham on Porn Addiction”




Jimmy Needham being very open about his former addiction.

Worth the four minutes to watch. I love his opening line.

If only more pastors and Christian artists were this transparent.

Also check out his recent hit song, totally digging it:




Further reading:
– Porn Addiction: An Introduction
– Question: Fighting Porn For The Last Time (Again)
– Testimonies: Victory Over Porn
– Question: How Did You Quit Porn?


Begging For Retroactive Grace: When You Realize You Were The Stumbling Block

I haven’t lived a very good life.

I know that in the eyes of Christ, because I believe who he is and what he has done, that I’m forgiven for it. But that doesn’t change the horrible ideas I’ve embedded in innocent minds, the trail of destruction I left behind, the blasphemous garbage from this mouth that has thrown people off a brighter path.

I have God’s grace, but I beg Him for grace upon others I screwed up.

Continue reading “Begging For Retroactive Grace: When You Realize You Were The Stumbling Block”

Book Review: Indivisible


Indivisible
By James Robison and Jay Richards

Summary:
A call to faith-filled values back in the political square, Indivisible may come off as a conservative checklist of Right-Wing ideologies, and while there are certainly such far-right views, we hear two gentle voices that are passionate about Christian-American ideals.

While they might not quickly change anyone’s mind, this sobering work on a wide range of issues — marriage, abortion, war, business, immigration, parenting, poverty, capitalism, the environment — is a biblically informed admonition that will organize your thoughts about God and the government. Some chapters are better than others, but Robison and Richards are careful to be nuanced, fair, and clear. Every chapter details not only the problem, but outlines solutions as we look forward to the future of the nation.

Strengths:
I’ve always been extremely uncomfortable with two topics: Money and Politics. It feels like the church always degrades itself when it comes to these two areas because the church has constantly failed when it’s tempted by either. Talking politics in the church never goes well for very long, and many will either ignore it in the pulpit and the pews or will rally for a particular issue at the expense of genuine discourse. To say it plainly, the church is too turned on or too turned off by the political realm. But at some point, we do need to talk about it. The political machine will keep running amidst our denial or relish, and we must get involved somehow.

Indivisible is almost an introductory course on conservative values. The authors instantly tackle the idea of “conservative values.” God is neither a Democrat or Republican, nor does He advocate public policies in the Bible. But of course, certain conservative values overlap with biblical ones, and not all public policies can be deemed right. At least some must contradict Christian principles. So both “liberals” and “conservatives” must submit to Scriptural authority, not a self-identifying manifesto.

The book is careful not to automatically subscribe to traditional conservative thought “just because,” and this is where it becomes a much more relatable, fleshed out work than the shrill cries of picketers. There are also solutions offered in every chapter which makes this work much more than just a list of Far-Right complaints.

Continue reading “Book Review: Indivisible”

Quote: Deliverance


In this performancism, we eventually figure out that being the star of our own show actually makes life a tragedy. When life is all about us — what we can do, how we perform — our world becomes small and smothering; we shrink. To have everything riding on ourselves leads to despair, not deliverance.

— Tullian Tchividjian

Quote: Moralism


Moralism beats this drum: If I improve, then I’ll be accepted — by God, by others, even by myself. But the gospel says something radically different. The gospel announces that everyone ‘in Christ’ is already accepted by God because of Jesus’s work for them. Therefore, no improvement, good behavior, or performance is necessary in order to experience the deep acceptance we long for and in fact strive for on a daily basis.

— Tullian Tchividjian

Quote: Longings


Because of Christ’s finished work,Christians already possess the approval, the love, the security, the freedom, the meaning, the purpose, the protection, the new beginning, the cleansing, the forgiveness, the righteousness, and the rescue we intensely long for and, in fact, look for in a thousand things smaller than Jesus every day — things transient, things incapable of delivering the goods.The gospel is the only thing big enough to satisfy our deepest, eternal longings — both now and forever.

— Tullian Tchividjian

Quote: Accountability



The reason I hate the kind of group described above [for accountability] is that their focus is primarily (almost exclusively, in my experience) on our sin, and not on our Savior. Because of this, these groups breed self-righteousness, guilt, and the almost irresistible temptation to pretend — to be less than honest. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in accountability groups where there has been little to no attention given to the gospel whatsoever. There’s no reminder of what Christ has done for our sin — cleansing us from its guilt and power — and the resources that are already ours by virtue of our union with him. These groups produce a “do more, try harder” moralism that robs us of the joy and freedom Jesus paid dearly to secure for us. They start with the narcissistic presupposition that Christianity is all about cleaning up and getting better — it’s all about personal improvement. But that’s not Christianity!

— Tullian Tchividjian