I need your help, because I messed up real bad. I love Jesus, and I’m a devout Christian believer, but I can’t control myself. I let myself get wrapped up in the world of lust, and had premarital sex quite a few times in the last three months. I need help, I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend and I want to stop, we want to be good Christians, yet we keep giving in to temptation. We keep promising each other that’s the end of it, but it still goes on. What can we do to stop and grow in Christ? I pray so hard for us, and she does too I think. Please help because I’m becoming so frustrated, I want to follow Christ and do the right thing, but I don’t have the strength too!
(I made you anonymous because I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be known.)
Brother, I understand your struggle. You’re making a real first step in acknowledging the problem and wanting to honor God in all of it. So you’ve figured out now that wanting to stop is not enough to stop. Maybe because once you actually stop, you’re not sure if there’s anything to look forward to.
Once sex is in the picture, the focus gets all fuzzy and the foundation gets confused. You’ll have to re-orient and re-think a lot of the dynamics. Praying is good and you must pray, but “praying it away” won’t work. You’ll need to pray towards something.
What I’m about to say will sound like legalistic behavior modification. But once again, effort is not legalism. The internal trusting of God necessarily predicates external changes in behavior. In other words, true change begins from the inside-out, but without outside change then you know nothing happened inside. You’ll need a Battle Plan, to build forward instead of just avoiding sin.