Four Things To Remember When You Rebuke

Rebuking is one of the hardest things to do. We’re either too soft or too strict, and for most of us polite church people, we would rather go on a mission trip to a war-torn third world country than speak truth to our neighbor.

But once you’re ready to pay the cost of awkwardness, there’s some things we need to know.

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Question: So About My Crazy Parents

*Edit: includes a visual statistic about “hovering parents” from — scroll to the bottom or click here.

Anonymous asked:
How do you make your own decisions without disrespecting/dishonoring your parents? I’ve just moved back home and will be in graduate school. My parents keep trying to make all of my decisions. I feel so overwhelmed by what they want. I must have the wrong heart/attitude when I talk to them as well because my dad flipped out and told me I was being annoying. They aren’t always right, but I know I’m not either. Can you please help me?

I might not say exactly what you want to hear, because if your parents are paying the bills for your grad school or even your housing, you haven’t left the nest. They get to call the shots. 

Even if they weren’t supporting you financially, they’re still your parents, and until you get married (or decide on single life with a career, however God calls you), your parents will have a huge part in your decisions.

I had two very inept parents that were violent, manipulative, reward-driven, and overall guessing most of the time.  I was a rebellious jerk, which I thought was “standing up for myself,” but in the end it never helped anything. Despite their shortcomings, I also learned too late they still loved me even if they never knew how to express it.

We all come to realize sooner or later that parents rarely change, which means you have to change. I’m not saying that as a suggestion; it’s an inevitable psychological truth.  You’ll either change for the worse or the better. So it’s up to you on how to determine the flow of your reactions.

Having said that, here’s what you can do. I’m going to list these “backwards,” meaning they increase in importance and priority.

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