Eventually I’ll say something that you’ll totally disagree with. I will disappoint you. I’ll come off shrill, inconsiderate, ignorant, and misinformed. Your favorite writer or pastor or celebrity will miss an angle or fumble a point or miss the whole thing. You’ll think, “How could I have ever liked this guy?” And we completely dismiss and demonize this person based off one sentence, one phrasing, one particular choice of word. I’ve done it, too. Farewell, forever.
Maybe it’s for a legitimate reason, and they really did go too far. I just wish we could give a little chance for conversation over coffee. It’s possible this person misspoke, because they’re just a person, and they don’t always get it right. It could be that they need the patience of dialogue to re-examine what they said, instead of the hasty hate-train that offers no fair exchange. I want your help. I want to know when I’m wrong – but it’s hard to hear what’s right when everyone is yelling. I want the freedom to make mistakes so that I’m not afraid to learn from you. I don’t want to be afraid that you’ll freak out when I don’t phrase things exactly as you’d like. We can tell when you’re ego-boosting your platform and winning internet-points with the choir. I’m not sure if you would listen to that sort of yelling, either.
I know there are some non-negotiables that we must agree on, like common dignity and humanity, but none of us will ever agree on everything. And that’s okay. I think we can have the nuance to disagree over a few things, but not judge an entire person based off a few degrees of difference. We can disagree and still be friends. It’s in our disagreements that we can become better together, and not worse.
– J.S.
J.S. Park: Hospital Chaplain, Skeptical Christian 
I have said this to my closest friends and family, including each of our children. It’s all part of the fall, but let’s hold out hope for each other, and remember the heart of the other, giving each other the benefit of the doubt.
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Right on: “the benefit of the doubt.” I think grace always believes the better story.
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You already have. I’m still here. And I’m not going anywhere.
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Thank you Jerry 🙂
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I “hear” you, and will let you know. But as I’ve said to close friends and family of mine before – I’d rather have an honest person make a mistake and call them my friend, than someone who lies and pretends to be perfect. And I do agree, we are human, in the process of learning and growing. And as someone once said to me, “The best way to learn is to make mistakes (not on purpose though).”
If we are all patient and kind, and take a little time to be understanding and considerate, everyone would learn and grow much faster, and respect and trust would come much more easily.
Excellent post 🙂
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Thank you, dear friend. I’ve found it too easy to reinforce my own platform in fear of looking like I’m “backpedaling,” when really I know it’s okay to be flexible on many things. And yes, I’m all for the honesty even with its rough edges.
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Reblogged this on yahweh nature.
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Yes. Good post. And… when it comes to public speaking (whether formal like the pulpit or informal like leading a group), I’ve learned that you really need to cut the person slack! In front of a group talking, it is easy to get nervous or unintentionally fumble your words – saying something you did not quite mean. Having to think on your feet in front of a group can be hard. It is easy to mis-speak. I have a lot more mercy and understanding, since I began doing more public speaking.
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I like your thoughts, Laura. I’m not in front of a group much. Everyday conversations are a source for me sometimes though.
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