The Intense Insecurity of “Being Yourself”


One of the reasons I’m so intensely insecure and self-conscious is because everyone keeps talking about “be yourself” — but the moment you open up, you’re only accepted when “being yourself” is a certain type of self. It’s really romantic that we push a magical version of vulnerable and unique, but the actual opening up part is dang hard and uncomfortable and requires a kind of love that most people won’t muster, since they’ve never really had to. It ain’t like Hollywood, ever.

If you find the sort of friend who truly loves you, I mean the weird obnoxious squeaky sweaty you, however imperfectly, keep them close and forgive them for when they do not understand. Friendship will take more than once and more than the pretty picture in our heads.

— J.S.


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12 thoughts on “The Intense Insecurity of “Being Yourself”

  1. Isn’t that one of life’s biggest riddles? People tell you to be yourself but the moment you do, they tend to attack, criticize, try to change you. Love is hard, keeping a soft heart is painful and difficult work. Also, we aren’t supposed punch people in the nose 😉

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  2. Being yourself isn’t effected by how we feel about what others decide about us. Those feelings say something about them not about you. Being yourself is a constant stable place of knowing who you are without thinking who you are has anything to do with pleasing someone else. That’s how I see it anyway. I actually did some pondering about insecurity and security and wrote a blog post about it. https://unbreakablejoy.wordpress.com/?s=so+insecure It may help….or not….that is up to you. I do think we have many aspects to our self but that can be expressed. Our self isn’t related to what others think about it. Food for thought!

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