Who We Really Are Behind the Screen of Who We Want to Be

Photo from Sarah Kim


There’s something you need to know.

The people you follow online are not everything they present themselves to be. Including me. We don’t have it together, and the more it seems like we do, the less likely it’s true.

I’ve met bloggers in real life who are nothing like the idealized hologram that they vicariously present in pretty quotes and shiny pictures and inspirational passive-aggressive monologues. Some are cranky jerks. Some are just surviving. Some do it for the likes. Some are still in middle school. Some do it because they can’t do anything else, and they’re telling others to do what they only dream of doing.

I have nothing against them. I’m them. I only wish they were honest about their emptiness and their heartache. I wish they would say how they actually feel instead of preaching the ideal. I wish they wouldn’t talk from a pedestal. I wish the same for me, too.

This is the space where I want to be, where I tell you I’m not any better than you and I’m still learning, and it’s not to look humble in reverse or to find some easy excuse, but because we’re both in this fight together, and we’re seeing only a few feet ahead of us at a time, like halfway headlights in a harsh fog, just like everyone else. I’m putting away my soap-box. I’m rolling up me sleeves and getting knee-deep in the trenches. I’m eye to eye, side by side. I’m with you, and I’m for you. I hope you’re for me, too.

— J.S.

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10 thoughts on “Who We Really Are Behind the Screen of Who We Want to Be

  1. “I only wish they were honest about their emptiness and their heartache. I wish they would say how they actually feel instead of preaching the ideal. I wish they wouldn’t talk from a pedestal. I wish the same for me, too.”

    I also wish too. And I also wish that somehow we find ourselves encouraging each other even inside the worldwide web. Thanks for this!

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  2. “The people you follow online are not everything they present themselves to be. Including me.” — This is so true of me. Like i find myself wanting to blog because i think people expect to read something even when i am empty, i struggle to just write something and it comes off as really hollow. So i’m learning to be quiet when i don’t have anything to say.

    Thank you J.S for being who you are.

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  3. All I know is that no one really knows anyone. Only God really knows each of us completely. No running or hiding behind words. I read and extract what I can try to apply to myself and what seems to make sense to me. I am on my own religious journey after years of a non-committal relationship with God and religion, and I believe it is far more important to be honest with yourself and know who you are and then share what you have learned with those who are on their own journey. In the end it will be their choice. I have read your blogs and find them honest and thoughtful.

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    1. Thank you for sharing, Rita. Honesty sounds so nice but I’ve learned it’s extremely tough and brutal. It’s not only the first step, but the whole journey. So glad to hear you’ve gotten to a good place there.

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  4. This I like. Some congregations can’t bear too much truth. Pastors need to be some ‘for the congregation’ as well as ‘for’ themselfes. sometimes these are different. I like the book ‘Power and the Helping Professions’

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