I’ve been learning over and over that unless someone is willing to see the unwieldy plank in their own eye, it’s absolutely impossible to help them out of their destructive patterns and self-deception.
You can yell and grieve and make a scene. You can spend hours in gentle counsel and eloquent exchange and loud weeping and tongue-biting patience. But unless that person wants to change, it’s not happening. No argument or mercy or fervency is enough. They’ll need to be pierced by their own convictions, or in the worst case, they must come to their own ruin and see the miles of hurt they’ve caused. Otherwise, you’re only reinforcing their pride and building their defenses and rationalizations.
Often the only thing we can do is to pray and humble ourselves. To look at our own plank first. To expect the best, even if the other person is taking no strides. To keep the door open. To keep serving. And maybe it’s not about the other person anyway. If they don’t change, you will.
6 thoughts on “The Planks In Our Eyes.”
Oooo that last line is really powerful. So often it is not about the other person. God is not as interested in having them conform to our image as He is in us conforming to His.
Absolutely. While I know there are safety & wisdom issues with this sort of thing, for the most part I believe the problem starts inside.
Amen! This isn’t exactly the same subject, but you made me think of a quote by Neil Anderson when people have addictions “If you want a dog to stop gnawing on a bone, just throw him a steak.” or something like that. I realize that’s probably a crude example, but basically people have to have something (someone) to replace the bad thing. I guess when it comes to people having a plank in their eye, it can’t be removed unless they are focused on Jesus. Which is something they have to do, like you said. Anywho, I’m trying to stay on topic lol. You just made me think of that. God bless Bro!
Definitely. Self-justifying hearts have to blame-shift, it’s hard to rely on divine justification to break free of it. But I believe, like you said, it’s the only way.
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