Five Primers On How To Study The Bible

Photo from Breanna Lynn

Anonymous asked:

Tips on how to study the word of God? Thanks!

Hey dear friend, I totally got the thing for you.

1) Lather yourself in holy water borrowed from your local vampire hunter store.

2) Get in your booster chair and wear the bib that says, “Christmas? How about putting the CHRIST BACK IN CHRISTIANS #JesusJuke”

3) Put on 3-D glasses and your Bible Man cape and mask.

4) Use a fan to open your Bible and stop at any page with any of the Ten Plagues finger puppets.

5) Play “Mind Heist” by Zack Hemsey. You won’t regret it.

6) Read the Bible in a Welsh English accent as loud as possible.

7) Wait for a fiery dove to rip through your ceiling with a new chapter of Revelation, which should already be happening at your weekly prayer meetings.

By the way, if you actually do this, please record it and show me.

Okay, but seriously.

Reading the Bible is hard. The Bible wasn’t even mass-produced until the last few-hundred years, and suddenly we’re all guilt-tripping each other on “read more Bible or bring the lighter fluid for your stake-burning.” But the Bible itself is hard. Am I allowed to say that? It’s dang hard.

So I want to say first: It’s okay to feel dumb about it. The quicker we can admit, “This is way over my head,” then the safer we’ll feel to get help. Here’s some help then to read the Bible.

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