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J.S. Park: Hospital Chaplain, Skeptical Christian

From Devout Atheist to Skeptical Pastor: A Blog For Busted-Up, Beat-Down People (Like Me)

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Day: March 28, 2015

Wedding Ceremony.

BW wedding ceremony

My wife and I during the wedding ceremony. She was crying; apparently I had a dust cloud over me.
— J.S.

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Posted on March 28, 2015April 5, 2015 by JS ParkPosted in Faith, Life, Photos, Pictures, Relationships4 Comments

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Baby Park, arriving in July. Rosco is about to be a big brother. We tried for almost ten months. Relatively I know that isn’t long. It felt long. Thank you for your prayers, kind messages, and rooting for us all the while. In the early days of finding out, we were at an Olive Garden (a fancy night for us) and the hostess asked, “How many?” I accidentally said, “Three.” Hostess looked at wife. Wife looked at me. I looked at the hostess. She became one of the first to know. Thank you, hostess, for upgrading us to a booth. #pregnant #expecting #futureparents #baby #marriage #wife #maternity #pregnancy #dad #doggo [PC: @hoon_jpark]

To love must include truth, wisdom, and boundaries. Sometimes it means distance. It means knowing when to rest and recharge and to embrace our limits. It always means to have grace for yourself, too. For those who have been abused or traumatized: Forgiveness does not mean friendship. No one must ever be rushed into forgiveness. Not for trying to look like the “bigger person” or “because it’s the right thing to do.” We need to recognize patterns of unrepentant abuse and gaslighting and manipulative language that will only guilt-trip back into a vicious cycle. We can never mindlessly open the door again on an abusive relationship. You have the right to say “no.” To love is not enabling, pampering, coddling, or letting someone off the hook—or it wouldn’t really be love at all. There’s a way to help others that really hurts them because it only feeds into their harmful patterns. Walking away from someone is sometimes the most gracious thing you could do for them. The idea that “loving people enough will change them” is not a bad idea—but it’s only half an idea, informed by romanticized, reckless cliches of Hollywood montages and high-fives that never reveal the ugliness of real love. Yes, it looks appealing to “redeem the villain” and I do believe that even the most evil person can be redeemed. But unless the abuser admits it’s abuse, you’re only reinforcing their position. To make yourself a martyr, to say this is “sacrifice,” is so often just an illusory daydream of being a hero, a rescuer, a savior, built on a guilt trip that you have to “love no matter what or else you’re bad.” I’m telling you: love must make people free, and that includes you too. I do believe God can redeem the abuser and oppressor. But God is foremost for the victim, the abused, the oppressed, the despondent, the neglected and rejected. God is for you. #typewritertherapy #forgiveness #trauma #abuse #boundaries #selfcare #compassion #grace #typography #lettering #jspark #mentalhealth #relationships #family #church #religion #love #wisdom #truth #typewriter

Photo shoot. Attempting cool. [PC: @hoon_jpark] #photoshoot #florida #pics #canoneosr

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