Run From Abuse: They Won’t Stop.


Dear friend: If you’re continually abused by someone who keeps saying, “I’ll stop this time, I swear, you know I love you” — then I have bad news. They’re not going to stop. The reason is because (and this is important), why would they even want to? What incentive do they have? If their “love” for you is not enough to keep from abusing you, then certainly they don’t respect themselves enough to seek help and to change. This is NOT to say it’s even a tiny bit your fault. But take extreme measures. Expose them, or call 911, or cut them off completely, and don’t look back. An external force is your last resort, but it’s often the only thing that works in the end. Loving a person is not the same as enabling them, and sometimes distance and firm wisdom is the best way you can love them. More than that: have some love for yourself, too. You’re allowed to look for better.

— J.S.

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