I absolutely believe grace is unconditional, unlimited, and unstopping. It is the essential mark of dignity to love sacrificially, without question.
Yet — grace does not pamper, spoil, coddle, or enable. That would be a cheap grace. Real grace has wisdom and discernment and confrontational momentum. It confronts the hurt of sin and what we did. It doesn’t overlook the hurt you’ve been dealt: but plunges into the seriousness of our pain. The very fact that we need grace means there is a very real mess which needs both our compassion and conviction.
There are boundaries when someone abuses our generosity. Saying “no” doesn’t make you more selfish or less gracious. There are times when you need distance, or even as a last resort, to cut someone off. Saying “no” could be the best thing that you ever do for your friend, and for yourself.
Because grace is for you too. It’s unfair to punish yourself into loving someone. You can’t give away what you don’t have. And to show instant grace when you’ve been wronged actually cheapens what’s right and wrong. It is completely irresponsible to gloss over injustice.