Question: The Hostility Against Recovering Porn Addicts


ourlowlylovelyking asked:

Often, when I see articles about people sharing the downsides of porn, even from a non-religious view-point, I will see so many comments with backlash, telling the author that they are making the statistics up and that it’s not harming anyone. It leaves me so discouraged, as if they do not care about men and women and children who are being exploited or even their own sex-life. Why do you think people go out of their way to express extreme hostility towards those exposing the harm of porn?


Hey there dear friend, I’ve actually never gotten this sort of question before, which is very insightful of you to ask.  I’ve noticed it too, and I believe it points to a much more systemic issue inside us that reflects the spirit of the world as a whole.

One thing I’ve learned is that everyone will inevitably demonize the opposite of what they idolize.  So whenever I talk about the dangers of sex before marriage, there is always someone who will lash out and say, “Monogamy is an oppressive ancient manmade structure like slavery that reduces human happiness.”  And the mainstream will jump on this preprogrammed automatic attack like it’s so right and logical and true.

This happens in Christian circles too.  When someone says, “Christians can drink alcohol in moderation,” there is always a Christian group that will lash out, “Alcohol killed my dad and beat up my mother, you’re a clueless moron.”  And while I can understand that: again, there is always an aggressive demonization at play.


Most times we’re not honest with our own motives.  We hate something else because we really want to continue what we “love.”  Even Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World, admitted that his atheism was easier because he could just have mindless sex all the time.  It’s not that he logically concluded there was no god; it’s that he didn’t want there to be a god. 

As a former atheist, I’m embarrassed to admit this was partially true.  No one approaches an issue with an objective viewpoint: the deck is always stacked against morality because we hate the idea of absolute authority.  No one wants to say that there must be a “law” which contradicts the self, and when we are contradicted, we become violent.  Or we purposefully remain ignorant of thoughtful introspection to perpetuate our destructive habits: because we’d rather take the first class train to hell.


People will go to great lengths to protect their babies.  Some of our babies are porn, sex, drugs, guns.  Sometimes it’s a certain civil right or a government policy.  Sometimes it’s “anti-bigotry,” which at times is still bigotry.  In all these cases, we’re certainly free to disagree.  But human nature entails that we will pick a side and attempt to dismantle the other, which always dehumanizes real people into a faceless enemy.  So you end up with very thoughtless, baseless ad hominem and reductionistic tactics, and no one is really trying to have a conversation.

The internet and blogosphere have made this infinitely easier to do.  I can yell angry words into my screen the second I think them.  Dialogue can’t happen when you’re not looking another human being in the eye.  We’re slower to ask questions and quicker to get more site views or affirmation from the choir.  I don’t think I’m saying anything new here, but we know it’s getting worse.  The polarized vitriolic dogma in this country is downright awful now.  Just go to any YouTube video.

The best thing here to do is continue raising social awareness in a non-partisan way that earns the respect of listeners while cutting through the deluge of trollish mudslinging.  Just know that the moment you stand for anything, especially an issue of morality, you will instantly become a lightning rod of despisal and deconstruction.  You will be labeled and taken out of context and twisted around.  But that still shouldn’t stop us from speaking up about what’s right, because that’s how history was changed, and it can still happen even in a time like this.  God bless you on that fight, my friend.

— J.S.


Advertisements

One thought on “Question: The Hostility Against Recovering Porn Addicts

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s