Hello, I was hoping you could just give me some advice but it is quite lengthy. I met this amazing godly man who began pursuing me. However, because of past relationships, it’s hard for me to trust. He continually shows me love but I keep questioning whether he’s lying. He hasn’t given me a reason to think that way but I just can’t stop thinking he’ll leave me like the others, but as well just constantly pick at him if something isn’t up to my high standards. What can I do to move from my past?
Hey my dear friend: I’m really sorry about your past relationships.
Each of us have a particular narrative over our lives based on our past, and we tend to rehearse them into the next season. Sometimes this can be good because it strengthens our decisions with consistency: but other times it can be bad because it causes unfair judgment, pent-up frustration, and unresolved bitterness.
You know what I mean already. We’re fragile people, so we carry on our old hurts into new relationships — and this kind of baggage gets messy real quickly.
My narrative has always been, People leave me. My parents divorced on my fourteenth birthday. The woman I thought I would marry left me for another dude in college. I lost a best friend in college after he lost his mind over a woman, and we haven’t been friends since.
But regardless of all this happening, I have to remember that: