Question: How Do I Connect With People?

Anonymous asked:

Hey, I just recently found your blog, and wanted to thank you. It’s difficult to find places like these to get some honest answers and just read that I’m not alone with some of these thoughts. If you don’t mind, I have a question. I’ve never been good with people. Relationships and connections are difficult to make for me, but I also want to follow God’s word and connect with his people. I just don’t know how. I’ve tried small groups, but was always very intimidated. Any advice?

Hey my friend, thank you so much.  I feel what you’re feeling here and I know the insecurity in getting to know new people.

The truth here is that most of the time, it’s very rare for us to find people who we truly connect with.  Even those people who seem to connect to “everyone” end up with a few real friends in the end.  The only difference is that they’re surrounded by fake shallow people far longer, and they find out too late.

If it takes a while for you to connect with people, in most cases it’s a good thing.  You might take more time to trust and be open and be vulnerable, and it’s okay.  Please don’t be too defeated or hung up on this: because quite honestly, people who make friends really fast are probably getting way ahead of themselves.

When you find even one person who relates to you at a small group or Bible study or church event or hang-out, that’s a victory.  Cultivate the one instead of trying to plant in too many patches.

Try small group again.  Try hanging out when your church goes out for coffee or movies or dinner or rock-climbing.  Try floating near a person you feel safe around.  This isn’t playing favorites or anything.  It’s just being wise about who God has sent into your life.  And just start talking.  You might find common ground much easier than you think.

Will be throwing you a prayer, my friend.  Feel free to update me any time.

— J.S.

One thought on “Question: How Do I Connect With People?

  1. Hey, J.S.! Thank you for this post. I go through phases, it seems, when I’m racking my brain, trying to figure out what is wrong with me because I feel like I have a hard time connecting with people. I do take a long time connecting with people so maybe that is why my circle of friends is more of a small straight line wide enough to fit only a few people on it. I pretty much feel people out first before I decide if they are someone safe enough to trust, and sometimes that is a long process. Blessings in Christ!


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