What is your understanding from Scripture of how church discipline should be done and what it should be done for? I have reason to believe that someone at my church has been disciplined falsely, and honestly, it is tearing me apart emotionally as I do not know either side of the story fully, nor can I ever expect to. I want to do the right thing.
Most ministry leadership bases their “church discipline” on Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Corinthians 5. Basically, there are terms given for a firm approach on sin and possible excommunication from the church.
But my question is: Why are these the only guidelines for church discipline? It feels like these passages are often twisted to force people out that are disagreeable or who take “too long” to beat sin. There are just as many passages to restore a brother and show grace for failure.
In other words, while it’s possible your church has done everything to restore this person by the grace of God, it’s also very possible they jumped the gun and did this person a great deal of harm. If you truly feel something is amiss, the right thing to do is to continually bug the leadership until they have fully explained their position.
I hope you also do this with grace and not with a stubborn heart. These situations can be tricky — every story has not just two sides, but multiple versions of the truth. People are also not one-dimensional evil cartoons, and many of them might have made a horribly conflicted decision that was not easy for anyone. A sincerely gracious church often hates doing church discipline, but often have to for an unrepentant person who has been caught in a serious moral compromise.
Also know that sometimes even your best efforts to do the right thing will be met with zero change. But yes: we must at least try to reconcile where we can. I’ll be throwing you a prayer.