Don’t Allow Enablers

If someone eggs you on in your anger or validates your self-pity: please extract yourself out of there. Find someone else. I’ve made this mistake too many times, when I should’ve heard from a friend who rebuked me towards grace and forgiveness and the hard truth about myself. No one should ever purposefully move you into more bitterness nor affirm your prideful isolation. I’ve seen guys who were puffed up this way over time and they’re hardly tolerable now.

Most people will tell you what you want to hear not because they’re bad people, but because they want to recruit you in their circle of approval and self-wallowing. This means they will tickle your ego: and you’ll be tempted to go back there.

They need grace too, so be courteous and nod along and love them just as much as the next guy. But please don’t fall for yes-men. Find the people who are willing to see through you, the ones who are willing to love you until it hurts.

— J