Top Ten Posts of 2013

Here are the Top Ten Posts of 2013 from the blog. These were written in 2013.

How Jefferson Bethke Showed Me I Was A Jerk
– I was one of those guys who quickly trolled Jefferson Bethke’s amazing video, but realized I was being a dumb jerk.

Reactionary Culture: I’m Not Like Those Other Christians
– Most churches are founded as a reaction to a previous hurt: but when you define yourself on what you’re against instead of what you’re for, you stand on a collapsible anti-ground and only perpetuate the hurt.

10) Four Thoughts About Finding God’s Will
– The idea of “God’s Will” is not as mysterious and mystical as we think.

9) Pastors and Leaders: Please Exercise. Not Kidding.
– Out of love and concern: if you have a hard time preaching because you spent all your energy climbing into the pulpit, you might want to put down the donuts and take a walk.

8) What is a Christian supposed to look like?
– If you have tattoos and a lip ring and you curse and smoke cigars, apparently you can’t love Jesus either.

7) Accidental Racism, Rick Warren, and Asians in America
– No one cares about racism against Asians, including Asians.

6) The Forced Falsed Dichotomy of For and Against: How a Binary System Fails to Resolve Our Deepest Issues
– I’ve never had a single rational conversation about homosexuality, abortion, or politics: because we’ve all bought into dichotomous dogmatic thinking that instantly opposes each other. In our fight for issues, we forget the people inside them.

5) I’m Struggling, But Church Keeps Saying Just “Read Your Bible”
– Sometimes the church throws around easy answers because they’re too lazy to do the hard work of struggling together.

4) Can A Guy and Girl Be Friends?
– Feelings happen: but the silliness of Hollywood-hormonal-romance makes you think you need to chase those feelings all the time. You’re not obligated to them.

3) The Weird Subculture of “Christian Dating”
– There are a million different “Christian” ideas of dating, and most of them suck.

2) 10 Thoughts About God and Homosexuality
– God loves you. There’s no clause after that.

1) The Totally Awkward Bible Study: And Four Ways To Push Forward
– Awkwardness at church is inevitable and even pretty awesome sometimes.

— J

6 Ways To Be Ready To Pursue A Relationship

Anonymous asked (made anonymous by request) —

Hey brother, hope all has been well. Just wanted to throw a question at you, since I recall you telling me a bit about possibly proposing to a certain someone :]. Though currently this doesn’t pertain to me, I’ve always wondered about the specific things that a man should do when he has feelings for a sister in Christ. I’m not really talking about the tangible things, like how to talk to her, but more-so what he should do internally, on himself. Examples, what should he pray for, what should he be cautious with? Stuff like that. Hope all is well, God bless.

Thanks for asking this question the way that you did.  I think the “practical how-to” is really important, but it can become shallow and mechanical. I appreciate how you want to know the intangibles and internals.  That shows you’re already on the right path.

Since I know you might feel some pressure that you’re single, here’s a quote by Timothy Keller about that all singles need to hear —

“Being single allows the freedom to serve God in ways that a married person may not be able to with their concentration focused on their family. Also, this ‘gift’ of singleness may only be for a period of time. It should be embraced instead of being a struggle to rush into marriage.”

I want to be careful here that I don’t turn this into a magic formula, but knowing you, I am certain you will consider all this with deliberate care and thoughtful prayer.  This will also be a pretty weird list because I tried to work around the typical.  As always, please feel free to skip around.

Continue reading “6 Ways To Be Ready To Pursue A Relationship”