Two anonymous questions:
– You’ve posted an incredible article about introverts, all of which pertains to me. However, with my insecurities combined with my introverted-ness results in a very quiet member of the church, which is considered bad. This makes me ashamed of being introverted, and even more insecure about being insecure. What’s the line between remaining who I am (an introvert) and developing myself into a passionate follower and advocate of Christ? How do I regain confidence in myself?
– I’m not the outgoing type of introvert and I struggle a lot with helping out the fellowship that I am in. I often feel inadequate and that I’m not contributing as much as I should. What’s a good way to get involved? Or what’s a good way to make use of being an introvert? Any advice would help!
Hello fellow introverts! We have found each other. Yay and high five!
That was really out of character, but I couldn’t help myself.
Please allow me the grace to point to some previous posts —
Here’s also an interesting article from USA Today about why introverts are better in the work force and how they’re being hired more now:
Dear friends: there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert. You are allowed to be methodical, reflective, deliberate, and most importantly, you. We live in an extrovert-biased world, and while I totally love my extroverted friends, no one should ever twist your arm into their own preferences.
Introverts can do everything that extroverts can, whether in the spotlight or behind the scenes, and I’ve been blessed to witness every spectrum of personality take on impossible roles to the glory of God.
At times, ministry can force a certain aggression that is confused for confidence, so there’s hardly any room for the people who enjoy numbers and charts and brainstorming and admin, not to mention introverts who can be great speakers, musicians, artists, and leaders. While your personality can affect your calling, it’s really up to God and not your culture. God has a funny way of calling you into tasks you might not otherwise ever do.
When I wrote 14 Ways To Handle A Christian Introvert, I never realized how many people felt alone and isolated simply because they were introverted, especially in church.
It still gets the most views of anything I’ve written. But what grieves me so bad is the backlash in the comments section: people saying things like “You’re giving permission for introverts to be moody/selfish/sinful/crappy/antisocial.” I understand what they mean, and I wish I had a less abrasive tone — but le sigh. Even if the “selfish introvert” thing was true, introverts still need grace just like anyone else. Getting on their case doesn’t help anything and could only make things worse. Again, I have nothing against extroverts: but dang, some understanding could go both ways here.
The critical thing is NOT to feel bad about how God made you, and to utterly embrace your awkwardness as part of who you are. Once you’re okay with being a slightly sheepish nervous jittery person, you will actually be okay around people because you’re not trying so hard to be someone else.
I’ll finish here by quoting myself and my spiritual brother, C.S. Lewis:
Trusting God is also trusting how He has made you uniquely YOU. It’s to know that God sent His Son for you and loves you just as you are, the nervousness and all, and this is real confidence: a sort of humility that submits to God’s plan. People who are comfortable with themselves have increasingly found their security in God’s absolute, never-stopping, always-constant love. This is the Real You that God is sculpting you to be. We so often hide that with a cultural idea of “confidence” that is really just shallow fakery, whether it’s a nicer car or better hair or cuter purse. Those things are fine, but not if they define you. Let yourself out to play.
“You will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it… Give up yourself, and you will find your real self.— C.S. Lewis