Anonymous asked:
I struggle with loneliness and recently heard a pastor speak about how it stems from being too self-centered and stuff like that. While I do agree, I think for me my loneliness comes from not being able to connect or “click” with others. It’s caused me to be very insecure in social settings because I feel the need to be funny/loud/impress others to be accepted..but that’s just not who i am. Do I just lack social skills? & does this tie into placing my confidence in Him? What does that even mean?
So I don’t mean to be one of those pastors that disses another pastor: but just, I mean come on man.
Loneliness is NOT your dang fault.
Loneliness is NOT a sin.
Loneliness does not somehow mean that you’re doing things wrong with God.
I suppose I could blame you for the weather or the axis of the earth or the phases of the moon — but that would make too much sense. As in, none.
I understand what some Christians are saying here: that within loneliness or depression or anxiety, we can become selfish if we cope by hurting ourselves or hurting others. But it’s almost never your choice, and even saying that still doesn’t even help you. It’s not a solution to just describe the water you’re drowning in.
The major thing is not to feel bad about feeling lonely. It happens to all of us. Loneliness is like a fog that squeezes our vision until we no longer see the hope of companionship. Very often it’s a lie that isn’t held up by reality. Of course there are times when we are alone, rejected, abandoned, or left behind. It’s natural to feel lonely then — but there’s still no point to beat yourself up over it.
The cure to any kind of loneliness isn’t just to “fit in” and conform. Trying to fake your own personality to gain friends will only increase the loneliness inside, because you’ll be burdened by knowing you’re not really yourself around others. That’s why people with tons of “friends” at a party can be the loneliest people of all.
Continue reading “Question: Loneliness and Insecurity is Self-Centered?” →
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