Question: Everyone Is Telling Me What To Do

Two anons asked (edited for length):

– J.S, I hear all the time that marriage is for procreation. And that’s it. As an asexual, I have no interest in physical intimacy OR producing children… and yet I’m made to feel as though I’m … an unnatural sinner heathen land because (and I quote) “they don’t produce children either.” People tell me I just need to ‘open my heart to Jesus to correct this sin’ but I’ve never really had an interest in those things …!

– I don’t want to be a Christian any more. I’m sinning and being selfish by not wanting children, for wanting a spouse to share life with but not willing to give up birth control methods to seek out a Christian spouse. If my entire purpose of loving someone is to just produce something I don’t feel capable of caring for … then WHY was I even born? I feel like God’s a huge jerk for expecting everyone to have and want children.


I get questions like these all the time, whether it has to do with children or future career or forgiving someone or what kind of clothes to wear at Sunday service.

Please let me put this all very simply then.

Everyone else around you has a vision for your life.

Everyone thinks they know better for you than you do for yourself. Of course this can be partially true. Certainly there’s a way to filter advice and discern good wisdom. Parts of someone else’s vision might be good for you — but no one has the right to dictate their entire plan over your life. That authority only belongs to God.

Also: most people are not even following what they’re telling you, or they just want you to do what they’re not doing, or they’re living vicariously through your victories.

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Quote: Angels, Devils, Church

Most opinions deserve to be forgotten, most butchers masquerade as beauties, and honesty is often an outlawed language. Not all angels wear white, not all devils have horns, and not all mistakes should be avoided. Because struggle is where church really happens, and imagination calls us into the places our past warns us not to go.

— Josh Riebock