Purity Is Not A Trophy


Purity is not a trophy that you can fight for.  If your relationship or spiritual life is all about achieving a pure standard, you’ll beat yourself up into miserable cycles of disappointment and defeat.  You’ll see your faith in terms of “clean” and “dirty” and “let’s be good.”  You’ll constantly ask why you’re not measuring up: and it’s because you were never meant to. 

Jesus preempted our failure at “purity” and everything else by taking our mess to the cross.

So rather, purity is a gift given by God.  It’s from this gift, not for it, that we gratefully act upon God’s life-giving law.  Not because we’re trying to earn anything, but because God has already begun to work His power through you.  It’s a tougher way, and often counter-intuitive: but it’s better, and worth it. 

If you can bask in the gift you’ve already received instead of striving to achieve it: then a healthy heart can follow.  It will not be works-driven, but other-centered and grace-empowered.  It is both a pursuit from and a pursuit forward at the same time. Rather than slaving away to destroy our own natural impulses, God has handed us the keys to His mansion and said —


“You are clean already.  You are invited.  You are family.  Now use this gift of purity for your maximum possible joy.  Get to know the opposite sex for who they are instead of what they can give you.  View them not as vehicles or obstacles, but human beings.  You can have the best sex ever, in marriage, because this bond is forged by an ocean-deep commitment of lifelong promise as you travel through ups and downs on the greatest adventure of your life.  That sort of sex will never be superficial or driven by performer’s paranoia.

“You can do this because I have made you pure through My Son, I have declared you new, you’re a re-creation, and I have set you free for joy.  If you are single, hang on.  If you are lonely, don’t fear.  If you are struggling, I understand.  I made you with this desire not to suppress you, but to pinpoint it for the exact purpose of divine intoxicating pleasure.  It can be dangerous, but used My Way, it’s about as close to Heaven as you can get.”

Our self-control then is not merely running from lesser things, but to run towards better.  God is always doing things like that.

— J

6 thoughts on “Purity Is Not A Trophy

  1. I really needed to read this post. I’ve been dating the same guy for almost 9 months now. We both love God so much, even though we are on different levels, which is okay. I’ve been a Christian for almost 3 years where as he has always been a Christian but never truly understood the meaning of submission, living a life solely for the glory of God. About a month ago, there was major tension because I was trying so hard to control his every move and make sure that he was perfect, I was perfect and that our relationship was perfect. He finally sat me down and told me, “Stop it. You can’t control anything that happens, only God can. God is and will always be the center of our relationship, but at the same time, He is guiding me through different things than you. We all have different sin and different messes that need cleaning up and God is the one that cleans it up, not you or me. We will never be perfect. God is the only one that is perfect, He is our perfection. ” Since then, him and I have been praying and slowly walking through all of this together; the whole idea that we aren’t working to gain a certain status or a huge salary. We’ve already gained Jesus and now we are just living the lives that we were called to live and serve like Jesus did.


    1. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal testimony. A lot of times I hear stories of victory, which are great, but it’s also powerful to hear raw stories of when we don’t get it right. It just highlights the victory that much more. I’ll be throwing a prayer for you.


      1. Aww thanks so much for the reply. Yeah it’s taken me awhile to realize that I am a mess and always will be but praise Jesus that He is in full control and gets all the glory and not me. Thanks for the prayer, I’ll be praying for you as well!


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