How do you overcome the wasted time and regret that comes with depression? God is in the process of healing me, but I look back and see the damage that depression has done: my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health; friendships and relationships, my family, my academic career. People say stuff like it’s not wasted time because God is growing something deeper in you, but the fact is a lot of time HAS been wasted. Nothing will ever bring back those years. How do you grapple with that?
I’ve struggled with depression since forever, so I’m right there with you. I know what it’s like to think of those “fogged out” patches of life and mourn over why we couldn’t have just done better.
But please, dear friend: you really can’t beat yourself up about this.
Let’s think through what you’re asking. There are always some questions that will lead to a “Gotcha.”
– Do you ever think you could’ve tried harder?
– Have you ever been happier than now?
– Do you feel like no one understands?
– Is there more you could be doing?
I hope you see what I’m doing. The answer to all these is, “Of course bro.” If I ask, “Do you feel like you have regrets over wasted time?” — then nine out of ten people will scream YES and overthink and start wallowing in self-pity. These questions will almost never have satisfactory answers.
This mind-bomb already condemns you before asking.
It’s a technique used by New Age, Scientology, pop psychologists, and the preacher who doesn’t know better. It sets up an angst in your soul so you have to buy-the-book or go-to-the-conference or jump-through-these-hoops.
No more of these questions, all right? We’re done with that.