Two anonymous questions (edited for length):
– Sometimes I think I have a ‘bipolar faith’. I am annoyed at my own inconsistency … Lately I feel that I am passionate about ministry, but lackluster when it comes to Jesus. I fear God, but I doubt that I love Him because of the distractions and idols in my heart. I can’t surrender or repent. How do you learn to love God more and develop a steadfast faith?
– Why can’t I be more serious about my relationship with God? If we can be so ‘committed’ to our human friendships … why is it so difficult to commit to God? Why do I constantly walk away from my first and one true love even though I’ve realized human love will always fail me? I’ve read Lewis/Augustine/Piper/Keller on heart idolatry so I ‘know’ what the root issue is but it’s still not drawing me back to God.
As I’ve said many times before: I struggle in my faith daily. It’s become better over time (however we define “better”), but I’ve accepted that it will probably be like this most of the time, if not a lifetime. And that’s okay. Some of us are gifted with a robust roaring faith; others like us will wrestle all the way to glory.
When Moses parted the Red Sea, some Israelites ran through shouting in total triumph. But I’m sure others tiptoed through shrieking in terror. I’m a shrieker. They all made it: because their faith depended NOT on them, but their steadfast Savior. I’m not absolving you of your responsibility — but God works with you right where you are.
That was really the entire point of starting my blog: to begin honest discussion about our crazy faith journey. I also preach on this quite a lot, which are still my two most downloaded sermons here and here.
Please allow me to encourage you with a few thoughts here. As always, please feel free to skip around.