Two Anonymous Questions:
(Edited for length.)
I am a Christian. I have doubts and habitual sins. I go to church, then after a few weeks I stop and isolate myself from other people. I can’t even pray right now because every time I try, I get silent and blank.
I do bad stuff because I don’t have a good or useful testimony. I don’t really know what to ask you but I just want to tell this to someone. Thank you.
I’ve been trying to be saved for a long time and battling with the war inside me of fear, anxiety, doubt, unbelief, confusion.
No matter how hard I try I cannot believe Jesus died for me. It’s so stupid even writing it seems stupid. There’s this gripping fear in my stomach that makes me doubt it so much. It’s scary just knowing you know the truth but cant seem to believe it!
Dear wonderful friends:
Welcome to the world of honest Christianity.
You are one step closer to the heart of God and way further ahead than most of our misguided church.
Do you know who else feels the way you feel?
Well: pretty much every single person who has ever lived, including the most rock-solid celebrated heroes in the Bible.
Think: What you’re really saying is, “I am like every other human being in the history of the world.”
Let’s not be so hard on ourselves — and don’t be hard on yourself for being hard on yourself, yeah?
Everyone at some point in their life doubts God, His Word, His Son, and themselves. Not to mention: they also doubt their spouses, society, the nation, their emotions, careers, friends, family, and the direction of humanity.
Everyone struggles: and it does NOT mean you’re a bad person or that something is wrong with you and it especially does not mean that you’re sinning.
God doesn’t expect you to be pain-free, question-free, and doubt-free in order to be a “good Christian.” He also doesn’t promise you that kind of life. There will be many dark seasons of the soul, and some (like myself) will experience this more than others.
As I’ve said before: What matters is not the moment of defeat and darkness, but the moment right after.