Hello! Do you believe in soul mates? Do we pick and choose who we want or does God have a way of placing a certain someone in our lives?
I say this with as much grace as possible, but my very short answer is 1) sort of and 2) both.
I do believe God has a plan and a blueprint and a vision for your life: but I also believe that if we fall off the tracks, God still has something else in mind.
Mathematically, the idea of a “soulmate” doesn’t work out. If you don’t end up with your soulmate, then they don’t end up with their soulmate, which means their soulmate’s soulmate doesn’t either, and so it goes for infinity.
But more than that, the idea of a soulmate can accidentally lead to a passive laziness as if a knight will bust in the room and rescue you from a tower. It can lead to a paralyzing fear if you target-lock on someone and lose them. It can make us stop working on anything, thinking that marriage “completes you,” that the chemistry is enough to keep it working, that the person you’re looking for “accepts” you and is not interested in pushing you to your higher self in Christ — and I know none of that is your intention, but I’ve seen it happen so much that it’s worth mentioning.
I find that friendship is already extremely difficult work. I feel like I’ve known my best friends for longer than I have, and certainly there’s a comfort and openness and honesty with them that allows me to be totally screwy around them: but friendship, even the kind that feels like fate, requires hard work. It needs nutrition, sustenance, and caretaking, like everything else. Maybe “soul-mate-ness” brought us together, but it doesn’t keep thriving from it.