Question: Getting Over A Break-Up

Anonymous asked:

I can’t get over the breakup I recently went through with a boy I really love. I’ve tried so hard to rely on God to get me through, but I’m still hurting so much. I feel guilty that leaning on God for help hasn’t been enough to stop hurting.

I’m really sorry this is happening and I totally feel your pain on this one. I have had seven (!) ex-girlfriends and every break-up totally sucked.

But please, please, please: do NOT feel bad about feeling bad. You are allowed to feel your feelings and you’re allowed to mourn your loss. You shouldn’t feel guilty for how you feel: and no one including yourself should ever belittle you on what you’re going through.

Do not beat yourself up over this. God understands. Weeping over an ex-boyfriend is NOT idolatry. This is all a natural part of the process called life. Healing takes time and intentionality: but you can go at your own pace.

A break-up will be a lot like grieving over a death. You’re sort of burying your former schedule, intimacy, memories, and presence of this other person. That takes time. You wrestle with it each day, not denying the pain or numbing the emotions, but letting it froth to the surface. Some days you’ll cry. Some days you’ll be angry. But I promise you: it will get easier each day as you bring it to God and move on.

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Quote: An Honest One

I hear a lot of people saying, “I don’t feel God anymore.” And there’s a lot of guilt there, like they’re not trying hard enough.

But “not-feeling-God” doesn’t make you a bad Christian: just an honest one. And maybe our baseline for “feeling-Him” got messed up with a false foundation.

Maybe when Life Got Hard, no one taught you a clear theology on pain. Maybe no one mentioned that seasons of doubt, suffering, and detachment are regular valleys in a believer’s life.

Those are also the EXACT times we go to God and tell Him everything. To even say, “I don’t feel you right now, God.” You can tell Him that.

Most of us think we’ve failed God when we don’t feel Him, when it’s actually that feeling of His absence that can either push you to Him or from Him. He’d much rather it be to Him.

— J.S.