– I feel like I’m on the point of breaking off completely from Christ already. I don’t know what part He plays in my life and as much as I know that faith isn’t just a ‘feeling’ thing, and that valleys are meant to shape us, I’m tired of being down and unimpressed by Christ. It’s like I’m waiting upon God to do something great in my life and woo me back. How do I believe Jesus truly want the best for me and that He is bringing me into my destiny? How do I believe, when I don’t believe?
(I made you anonymous just in case.)
I appreciate your honesty very much. I believe you are much closer to the heart of God than you think, and you actually get it.
Please let me start with the hard news.
I could probably say a hundred cliches that you’ve already heard and give you some inspirational pick-me-up pep talk that makes you try harder — but that’s probably how you got here in the first place. I don’t have that kind of speech, if this is what you were looking for.
I wish I had some magical mind-blowing words that could revolutionize you back to a passionate Christian life. I’ve also written plenty to defend the faith. But no one has a silver bullet, and even the Bible can feel cold some days, and maybe you were fed some weird puny casual concept of God that doesn’t come close to Him.
You could’ve ended up here because no one gave you a clear theology on pain. Perhaps no one told you that there would be long dry seasons of silence from God and self-loathing and deep valleys of doubt. I don’t mean to blame anyone else: but for whatever reason, no one really told you all this, and that it’s okay. We all go through it. You’re not alone.
You do need to know that God absolutely loves you no matter where you are, and that fact remains an eternal fact — but I also know that doesn’t suddenly flip the switch. As much as I’d love to wave a wand and bring you around with a 3-step formula, the Christian life is not that easy. Actually: it’s dang hard. Following Jesus is really good news, but it’s not going to be rubbing your tummy telling you “Everything will be okay now.” It’s a good deal, but a tough one.