Question: Serving My Church But Feeling Lonely and Used

Anonymous asked:

Hi, so I am really involved in my church – pretty much the backbone of morning services and publicity stuff throughout the year. I love doing what I do, and feel called to do so, but sometimes I feel so alone in church. Pretty much the only time I get a text, email, or even pulled aside at church is to ask me to do something. I feel like no one cares about me, the person…only the me that does everything. It hurts and I am getting fed up. How do I not feel this way?


I’m really, really sorry this is happening, and if I could give you a big hug and then just as quickly drop-kick your pastor, I would.

I realize your church is not evil nor against you nor are they bad people: but you shouldn’t have to feel this way in church.  You do NOT have to think you’re being silly or spoiled or selfish, as if you’re the problem: because you’re not. You’re totally within your right to be loved, served, and encouraged in the body of Christ.

If you haven’t already, please tell your pastor all about these issues.  Don’t be afraid to speak your mind.  Too many of us remain “polite” and play the Nice-Game at the expense of a single real conversation, and we end up regretting all the energy we used to hide the truth. 

Just be honest.  Please charge through any fears or “suburban courtesies” you might have about keeping it real.  You might be surprised at the results.  Most pastors don’t even realize there’s a problem until they’re told straight up: and trust me, a good pastor wants to know the deal.

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Quote: About Hell

When I’m asked about Hell or God’s wrath, I tell them to check out John 3:17. Even Jesus knew that Hell wasn’t a motivation for people to come to God; it’s never been a fuel for sustainable faith. It only underlines the incredible trade we get with Jesus: our pain for healing, our sorrows for joy, our sin for eternal life.

We can spread around the myth that Jesus talked about Hell more than anything else (he didn’t, it was only 13% of his words), and we can act like total depravity is the entire essence of man (it’s not, if you stop taking Calvin out of context and read Romans 7 or the dang Bible). Or we can admit: we’re all uncomfortable with God’s grace because it’s just so free, so disturbing, so reckless, so amazing. The second you say, ‘What-about,’ then you’re probably afraid of such an unthinkable grace. Yes, He saves us from Hell — but more alarmingly, He saves us to Himself.

— J.S.