Published at ChurchLeaders.com! — “4 Steps to Handle an Awkward Discussion”



I’ve been published again at ChurchLeaders.com!

The original post is on my blog here, titled “The Totally Awkward Bible Study: And Four Ways To Push Forward.”

Love y’all!
— J


Self-Deceptive Cover-Up: Rehearsing Your Side of The Story

After you mess it up big, you can imagine the circle of people who confirm their suspicions about you, saying things like —

“I always knew something was up with him”
and “That’s why he did that”
and “It’s sad he turned out that way”
and ending with some faux smooth-over like “But we should pray for him.”

In an instant, circles of people can find you repulsive because one person repeated their rehearsed side of the story, and no one had the patience to hear yours.

I used to believe every story had two sides. Now I believe there is only one story fragmented into a million pieces. When I counsel people, I never understood how very small actions could be so vastly misinterpreted. We presume malice, evil, and war over one look, one word, or one lack thereof. It could be cleared up so quickly, like the Idiot Plot in sitcoms where it would all be resolved by a simple sit-down.

But in reality, no one is willing to let go of their version of what happened. I can understand those sitcoms: because talking about it would mean the possibility of admitting you’re wrong.

Continue reading “Self-Deceptive Cover-Up: Rehearsing Your Side of The Story”