Quote: Greatest Desire

“I have sometimes wondered if the greatest desire of man is to be known and loved anyway. It is no secret we are terribly protective of our hearts, as though this tender space is a kind of receptor for our validation as humans. The closer we are to another person, the more vulnerable we are and the more we feel a sense of risk. Lovers can take years to finally trust each other, and many of us will close ourselves off at the slightest hint of danger. Introductory conversations are almost always shallow. ‘Where did you go to school?’ and ‘How old are your children?’ are safe places to begin. Start an initial meeting with ‘What addictions do you struggle with?’ or ‘When do you feel least loved by your wife?’ and we are going to have a tough time making new friends. It seems that we feel we must trust people before we let them know anything remotely vulnerable about us, and to ask for more before trust has been built is to contravene a social etiquette dating back to the fall of man. All this, I suppose, is connected to the fact that our validation seems to always be in question.

And yet it is through this system of defense Christ walks with ease, never seeming to fear that He would do damage by rummaging around in the tender complexity of a person’s identity. Instead, He goes nearly immediately to our greatest fears, our most injured spaces, and speaks into those places with authority.”

— Donald Miller

3 thoughts on “Quote: Greatest Desire

  1. And truly Christ is the only one I’d want in those places…though it stings often. I find that when people want to get close to me or compliment me etc I want to run & hide in my loner corner. Cause I’m just sure they only like me for the good things I project…as soon as they see my failings they will run away screaming. For sure they will tell people too.

    It’s kind of funny. Me and some moms at our homeschool group talked about this in a way. We started out talking about the bad things in the world. I changed the direction by mentioning my own short comings (a risk for me cause I was talking to a new mom). As soon as I mentioned my issue I found they had it too.

    We joked about how we whisper under our breaths things like “I went to McDonalds” or “I watch Twilight”. We are so afraid of being judged by other moms cause there’s always the more conservative in the group and always the more liberal. We could compare ourselves all day long. Someone will always be “better” and someone will always be “worse” (I know God sees us as the same but I mean in our own eyes).

    Sorry to take up so much of the comments again lol. I guess you’re blog is safer than posting on mine sometimes but I’m sure I will get to these issues in the future. I’ve had this “Moses” post in my head for months and I’ve just been too busy or maybe just lazy. I appreciate how your posts get to the heart of things. I pray you are doing well especially with the depression stuff. That’s a doozy but I know God meets us in our loneliness and those can become the best times when we look back on them.


    1. Thanks again for your insight. All of us will probably always be stuck in “one-up/one-down” interaction — you know, one-upping someone with “Do you know who I am?” or one-downing by playing the victim-card — and it’s just a human inevitability. Very few of us are free from the pecking order for very long. And I think there is good wisdom in letting certain people in for all our craziness, while naturally others should stay out.

      Not to get hyper-spiritual, but I’ve found the more anchored we are in Christ, the easier it actually becomes to let people “in” — because we’re not banking all our trust in another person’s approval. In practice this is very difficult, but Jesus really is the only security. You know the verse: struck down, but not destroyed.


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