“Faith is a growing process and it took me a long time to get that. If you haven’t worked with broken people, homeless people, drug addicts, porn addicts, if you’ve tried to disentangle and recalibrate their brain — it’s a hard process, a long process. I’m afraid a lot of preachers who know nothing about grace — all they know about is guilt — they’re going to just say, ‘Change, change, change!’ But broken people take a long time for the pieces to come back together. No matter who you are, you got some kind of brokenness, emptiness, missingness in you, there’s a feeling everyday of, ‘I’m just not getting this God-thing” or “I just suck at living this life.’ I want to give you a little bit of freedom and say: God absolutely loves you, and there’s nothing that you can do that will change His heart for you.”
— from this message
May I ask for some advice? I have this friendship that is falling apart. We use to be close. He was there for me when I was ill and had no one else. But then my marriage change our friendship. Ever since things have been different. However, lately he’s been depressed and speaking of suicide. I want to help him and be there for him. But his cynical + sarcastic attitude hurts me. All we do is argue now. I just want to fix our friendship and I want to help him. I don’t know what to do anymore. :,(
I know this part sucks: when a friendship changes because of a transitioning season. Most people don’t know how to move along smoothly, and even if you’re totally prepared, it’s still painful.
You’re married now, which means everything changes, including how you relate to others. It will mostly make a distance between the opposite sex (a good thing), and close friends who say “I thought you had my back” need to realize it’s not tenth grade anymore where you can just drop things and rush over. That whole season is behind you.
Your first priority for the rest of your life now, after God, is your spouse. Especially when you have kids, your single friends need to know you’re not as accessible because you have kids, as in you are raising other human lifeforms that need your full attention lest they die. Anyone who tries to step in on this needs to know it is NOT okay.
Continue reading “Question: Friendshifts, Marriage, and Suicide”
The less you say, the better it sounds. The less you speak, the more people listen. The less words you use, the more people will trust you. Don’t waste words. You have even less of those than breaths to breathe.