Question: You Might Want To Change Your Church IF

heynikkie asked:

This is great!! (in reference to this post) But what if you’ve dropped out of church for several months now? … But i feel it’d be awkward to return after being away for so long? I think I had legit reasons to leave (questionable doctrine & unfair treatment to the point where I felt bullied and intimidated) but i was fueled by emotion and left quickly. Is it too late for me to go back to tell the youth pastor why and share what I think could be done to improve?

(Edited for length)

I’m really sorry this happened at your old church, and I got much love for you for even considering going back to speak with them. That’s hugely much more mature than myself.

I don’t believe it’s too late to go back to your former pastor to talk with him.  However, you might want to consider if the conversation is even worth having.  Is he teachable, humble, willing to learn?  There’s a difference between being scared to tell the truth and being uncomfortable with a person who might get violent, offensive, defensive, angry, or insulting.  There’s not a whole lot you can do with the latter. 

I’m reminded of Proverbs 9:8 and 12:15 — Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you …  The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

Personally, while I would certainly be hurt to hear the whole truth about my shortcomings as a pastor, I would also appreciate honest, gracious feedback.  It’s possible you could be doing him a favor.

To switch gears, I’ll list some criteria when it’s okay to consider moving onto a different church.

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Quote: Relax

The word
relax has become this toxic, unthinkable evil of anti-good. Imagine: to actually hit pause and have some guilt-free time for yourself. To watch a sun rise, pray all day, and watch the sun dip away. God commands rest. I don’t mean laziness. I just mean: God gives us a scenic route, too. The robotic-routine of hamster wheel dedication to this world does not fill our dying souls. You know what they say: sometimes you got to stop and smell those roses. That’s why they smell like that: to snap people out of it.