hello. someone asked me to be their accountability partner, because we are both struggling with the same kinds of things. i guess i am having second thoughts because 1. we are both struggling terribly and i guess i’m selfish and may want a mentor type person 2. they think i’m “further” in seeking God with these issues than i am and 3. to be honest, this kind of commitment scares me, which is prob a good thing bc of the challenge to complacency. Any advice for having an accountability partner?
My friend, first of all, a round of high fives for getting serious about your struggle and seeking accountability. You’re doing the right thing and you made an awesome first step. You can’t see me but I’m giving a big double thumbs up (right at my laptop).
I’d like to point to a couple posts on accountability also:
While I am all for holding each other accountable, the truth is that it rarely works when you grab someone and say, “Hey man, for the love of God please keep me accountable …!” It might work even less if that person is still struggling with the same thing. It’s too easy then to let each other off the hook. That’s why AA meetings have a mix of struggling people with mentors and leaders and ex-alcoholics: you need to know every side and not just one.
Accountability always grows out of an established friendship that has been built on truth. It can’t really be the other way around. While this person has good intentions to seek you out, and while it is possible it could work, you should consider 1) becoming friends with this person first, and 2) having an older mentor for both of you, together or separately. I know how hard both of those things can be, but real accountability will flourish if you’re seeking it organically.