what do you do when you want something so badly, and you know it’s completely against God’s will, but you just don’t want to give it up? i can’t state it explicitly here, but it’s not a tangible object, and it’s not lust. i’m sorry for being so vague. i just don’t know what to do anymore. i haven’t brought it before God wholeheartedly considering the nature of the problem; there’s such a huge gap between my conscience and the rest of me. i know i need to surrender but it’s easier said than done.
I’m assuming you’re talking about some kind of temptation since it’s against the presumed Will of God. You’ll have to clear up if it really is against God’s Will, or if maybe there’s a hyper-religiosity happening.
With temptation, I feel for you there. That’s just one of those things that gets right in our face until we can’t see much else. But you have a choice now to run to the balcony and see it for what it really is.
Like I’ve said before: I wish I could bottle up all the regret you’re going to feel after you keep pursuing this thing, then hand it over to you as Liquid Regret After-Juice, so you can drink that and go, “Oh yeah, duh. That would be stupid.”
For some of us it takes a whole lot of regret juice to realize what’s happening. But: there is NO “real life lesson” worth the inflicted pain of choosing sin. You don’t need to murder a dude to know it’s wrong.
Do you know what’s easier said then done? Pretty much everything. It won’t be easy. God, however, promises a way out. Every – Single – Time. It’s not a matter of can or cannot, but will. And even your will, fellow Christian, is not your own. Jesus said, “Not my will, but your will be done.” He was talking to Big Daddy.
1) Externally Guard –Your surroundings, your buddies, your habits, your words, your time. No one just suddenly “falls.”
2) Internally Submit — Of course the ultimate issue is always internal. Since you said it’s not tangible and not lust, then your brain-heart-soul is where the splinter really is.
God plans to upturn all that.
He doesn’t just change what you do, but what you want to do. He’ll rip out your old heart with its dumb desires and give you a new one with brand new desires.
With some of the new stuff you’ll be like, “Oh yeah I knew this,” because it calls back to your True Design. But with some of the new desires, it’ll be a 180 and therefore extremely painful.
Closing the gap between your conscience and your desires is where most people give up, because it hurts too much. Except if every time I went to the gym and I stopped when it hurt — well I wouldn’t be benching 275. Nor would I be in shape since I eat so much.
You know what I’m saying here: that on the other side of this hurt, it’s so much better. Some people tell me, “I don’t want to exercise, I feel fine, what’s the point.” But they could feel way better than they already do, or hit a breakthrough of joy in exercise that they never knew before.
That takes a whole submission to the Chisel of God. Your brain-heart-soul, everything. Please don’t make the mistake thinking it’s all at once — that would be like throwing yourself into a wood chipper — but repentance is rather a day by day process of a thousand small steps towards God.
Yes, repent of big things immediately. But those root desires: it will take a daily path of submitting to the Holy Spirit’s work in your heart. Remember: the power to do what God requires comes from God Himself. God will get you to joy because He Himself is that joy.