What are ways to fall in love with God? I find myself trying so hard to find his ways attractive, to want to love him, but sometimes I will realize I have gone without even thinking or caring about him, or choosing sin. And that makes it seem like we don’t have a relationship, and that seems wrong. I don’t think I’m not saved, but I just don’t know how to get more serious about him. I want to want his ways, but when it gets tough it seems like I must not want it enough to stick it through.
It’s first of all very awesome that you’re asking, since most people fall “out of love” with God and immediately run to anything else but Him. Sort of like running from the doctor when you’ve been diagnosed with treatable cancer. But you may also be taking it really hard on yourself when not-feeling-God is actually part of the growing process with Him.
If you have an “off day” and beat yourself up over your apparent lack of faith, that’s the same as feeling stupid about feeling stupid. It’s an endless pity party and doesn’t help. It’s really okay to tell God, “I don’t feel you right now, I don’t want you right now, I don’t know what to do from here.” He can handle that, you know.
So here it is: When you confess to God what He already knows, no matter how dirty or deep or devastating, that’s already a first step to getting back to your first love. You’ll quickly find that no matter how you feel or what you’ve done, Jesus is overly patient, ridiculously kind, absurdly compassionate, and armed with loving discipline. Every single time. Any lack of love I find in myself for Him is always and eventually overwhelmed by His crazy grace. His perfect love rips me from my numbness and transforms like nothing else will.
So bring it to Him. All of it.
That means you’ll have to step across any pretentious guilt. Sometimes guilt can be a secret exit door to never confront God. I’m not saying that’s your motive, but you might want to gut-check that. Just be ready for both the grace and the rebuke. He does both out of love.