Hi pastor, I went 11 days without pornography/masturbation. I faltered last night and gave in. The temptation was too strong not only emotionally but very physically. I could not help it. I prayed for it to go away because I really do want to stop but … I’m stuck and starting to think God isn’t going to help me out. So all I’ve been doing is praying for forgiveness. But since I’ve done this vicious cycle so many times I don’t know if I’m actually forgiven, because I don’t actually know if I’m truly sorry because I’ve been through this so many times … I’m just stumped and don’t know where to go from here, I just want all temptation to go away.
Hey there dear friend. Thank you so much for your honesty and for even trusting me with such a huge issue.
Please first allow me the grace to link a post that contains every other post I’ve written on porn:
I have to say upfront that you are still just as loved by God as you were yesterday, a billion years ago, and a billion years from now. I know I’m probably not supposed to say that because it can accidentally make Christians “lazy,” but it’s true. Whether you decide to receive His grace for good or for bad, either way He still loves you. That’s the most important thing I could say, and it’s the only motivation strong enough to keep us moving forward from sin towards Him.
You also need to know that fighting sin is a process. Sometimes it is lifelong. It’s not something that we can just “pray away” or will disappear one day. It gets easier to handle, but we will be in battle with our flesh until glory.
After we mess up, we often only look at the tiny microscopic moment of what just happened. But God sees us over a lifetime. He knows if you really want to quit, if you are truly repenting, if you are really pursuing Him. And the crazy thing is: even if you never regretted it, He will still love you. If you can know His heart this way, then suddenly it’s not about quitting anymore. Instead, it’s about knowing Him.